


I Love You, You're The Worst

by FictionalMindFrame



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: AU- Detectives, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, I tried to do slowburn but I have no patience, pretty much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:40:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27590144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictionalMindFrame/pseuds/FictionalMindFrame
Summary: Scylla Ramshorn and Raelle Collar have hated each other for years, but no one can deny the pull between the two detectives. Love and hate get a lot messier when lust is thrown into the mix.
Relationships: Abigail Bellweather & Raelle Collar & Tally Craven, Abigail Bellweather/Libba Swythe, Gerit Buttonwood/Tally Craven, Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 272
Kudos: 494





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing anything ever, so any feedback would be great!

Scylla startled when Captain Quartermaine dropped a new case file on her desk, pulling her attention from the seemingly endless paperwork she’d been working through all morning. She looked up and met Anacostia’s gaze, raising an eyebrow in question at the new file.

“Collar got a lead on the 5th Street murder. It’s time sensitive and everyone else is out, so you’re going with her.”

Scylla beamed back at her with a grin far too tight to be sincere, “I’m sure someone else is free. Anyone else. Or have you forgotten what happened the last time you pushed the two of us on a case together?”

“I have not forgotten. Which is why I’m telling you to be on your best behaviour Ramshorn, you piss her off that much again and Detective Collar might just quit.”

Scylla pursed her lips and dropped her eyes back to the file she’d been working on, “Sounds amazing, can I have her desk when she leaves?”

“She’s waiting, I’d get a move on if I were you.” With that, Anacostia turned on her heel and headed back towards her office on the far side of the room.

Scylla loved her job. She liked that Captain Quartermaine walked the line between leading with a firm hand and being someone that the squad could joke around with. She liked feeling like she was bringing those who caused harm to justice. She liked doing something that would have made her parents proud. Despite being somewhat of a loner, she could even say that she got along with her colleagues, with the major exception of Raelle Collar.

She had met the blonde back in the police academy, and even then, they had been unrelentingly competitive. When Scylla transferred precincts last year, she hadn’t thought about the other woman in years, but the months that followed were no less antagonistic than their first interactions. Both trying to prove to the other that they were the better detective, to solve more cases, to spite each other any way they could. Scylla didn’t think Raelle had changed much at all in their years apart; reckless, proud and impulsive, all things that could put them all in dangerous situations in the blink of an eye. Not to mention the fact that in the end, Raelle had graduated top of the class and Scylla couldn’t stand coming in second. Perhaps the worst part of the entire situation was that before everything went to shit, Scylla had often found her eyes wandering to her, building up the courage to ask her out. Only to be wholly let down when Raelle showed her true colours.

Scylla finally stood from her chair, grabbing her jacket before storming straight past Raelle’s desk.

“Let’s get this over with.”

* * *

Scylla was bleeding. She pushed against the wound in her thigh, biting her lip at the pain. This was all Collar’s fault. Scylla knew they shouldn’t have split up to trap the suspect in a tiny alley, and now she’d been stabbed, and of course Collar would get all the glory for the arrest.

“You doin’ okay over there?” Raelle drawled, shoulders tense, as if Scylla getting stabbed was inconvenient for _her._

“Oh, just dandy. Practically on vacation. Any chance you’re going to call this in now that you’ve got your arrest?”

“You’ve been on the ground for all of 2 seconds, don’t be so dramatic.” Raelle pulled the guy to his feet before pulling calling Scylla’s injury in and turning around to face her, “Does it feel like it hit anything important?”

“Do I look like a doctor?”

Raelle rolled her eyes, “Are you putting pressure on it?”

Scylla’s face morphed into her signature sarcastic smile, “No, I just thought I’d let it bleed everywhere. Never even occurred to me.” There was a pause followed by a scoff, “Of course I’ve put pressure on it. How long did they say the ambulance would be?”

“They didn’t.”

“Oh great, so I have an undetermined amount of quality time with you to enjoy.” She turned her face to the man in front of Raelle, “Do you think you could stab me again? Preferably somewhere that’ll kill me faster?”

“I’m ignoring you.”

“Thank God.”

The silence stretched on for a few minutes, the guy in handcuffs trying to break it a few times and failing, before an ambulance finally rounded the corner and two EMTs approached her. Raelle broke her silence as they passed her, “Stab wound on her left thigh, doesn’t seem too deep. Been about 7 minutes.”

“I don’t need you to speak for me.”

“Yeah, you’re looking real fine over there.” She turned to the EMTs, “I’ll take this guy in and leave her with you guys. Good luck, you’ll need it.” Pulling the man along with her, Raelle made her way back to the patrol car and pushed him in. Turning towards Scylla one last time before getting in, she catches her eye and salutes her sarcastically.

“Fuck you Collar.”

* * *

Raelle’s fingers were tight where they gripped the steering wheel, her whole body taut, but she was thankful that at least the guy in the back wasn’t trying to make conversation. As much as she and Scylla didn’t agree on things, she did feel guilty about the brunette’s injury. Their relationship had been hostile from the beginning, Scylla calling her a jack ass the first time they had had an actual conversation wasn’t the best start, and despite the fact that Raelle had no idea how she earned the moniker, she had immediately gone on the defensive, leading to a rivalry that had now been going on for years. The other woman’s arrogance didn’t help either. If she thought the brunette was unreasonably attractive, well that wasn’t information that anyone else had to be privy to. And if she could hear a voice that sounded suspiciously like the shorter woman in the back of her head, telling her that it was all her fault that she’d ended up in the hospital, then that was another thing no one needed to hear about.

The precinct was much more full when she arrived back than it had been when she’d left, and as soon as she dropped the arrested man into a holding cell, she was wrapped in a hug from a tall bubbly redhead.

“You’re kind of suffocating me there Tal.” She grumbled, making eye contact with Abigail over the girl’s shoulder and laughing.

“Sorry!” Raelle shook herself off as Tally stepped back to give her space, “We heard about Scylla, is she okay? What the hell happened?”

Before Raelle could reply, Anacostia appeared behind the redhead, “I’ve spoken to her already. Says she’s fine but you know how she is. She should be released in a few hours.” Her eyes narrowed towards Raelle, “I thought I told both of you to be on your best behaviour Collar.”

“We were! This had nothing to do with us fighting.”

“Glory’s with her now,” Tally’s statement shouldn’t have surprised her, given that other than Raelle (and occasionally, Abigail) Scylla got along well with everyone in their squad, but it did catch her off guard. The guilt was coming back, but she kept it off her face and Tally continued, “Says she’s arguing with the doctors about releasing her alone. Do you think we should head over?”

This time it was Abigail that cut her off before she could speak, “If she’s getting out in a few hours she probably doesn’t want us all cramming into the ER. Knowing her, she’ll be right back at her desk in the morning.” With that, the woman shrugged, reached over to squeeze Raelle’s shoulder, and made her way back to her desk.

Tally made to turn too, but paused midway and asked, “Are you okay?”.

“Yeah Tal, I’m fine.” The smile on her face was tight, but Tally seemed happy to accept her half-truth, smiling back and walking away.

Anacostia’s gaze was heavy on her again, “I need a detailed report. As well as the paperwork for that arrest.”

“Or, I could give you a quick summary and you could let me head to the hospital?”, Raelle knew it was a long shot, but the guilt wasn’t going away and the only solution seemed to be visiting the injured woman. “I’ll do whatever paperwork you want for the next week, but I feel bad. I should go see her.”

“Fine.” Her lips pursed, but Anacostia wasn’t finished, “Please, do not make this situation worse.”

Raelle smiled back at the Captain, this time meaning it, “Thanks boss,” She stalled, “Any chance you could eh, not mention this to anyone though?”. The look she received in return was answer enough. Anacostia wasn’t one to gossip, she had better things to do than keep everyone in the squad updated on the notorious rivals. Although if she did, maybe the betting pool would get a bit more interesting.

* * *

The drive to the hospital was quiet, no radio, just the white noise of the city. Raelle could feel the journey dragging, her chest still a little heavy, but when she at last parked in the crammed car park, she let out a sigh and picked her head up. The ER was busy, no ER in New York was ever not busy, but she’d seen much worse, so it didn’t take long at all to get a nurse to send her in the right direction. She straightened her back and took a deep breath before launching herself in the direction she’d been pointed and prepared for another exhausting interaction with the brunette. When she spotted her, she had enough time to study the other woman before being noticed. Thankfully Glory had already left, and now Scylla was propped up on the bed looking bored out of her mind but otherwise fine. More pale than usual and a little sad, but fine all the same. Her face twisted to a smirk when she caught sight of Raelle, “Come back to finish me off?”

Raelle met her stare, “Trust me, if I was gonna kill you, I’d have done it by now.” She smirked back, ignoring the pull in her stomach at the other woman’s upturned lips.

“To gloat then?”

“No, actually I uh,” She sucked in a breath and lowered her eyes to her fidgeting hands, “I came to say sorry. I shouldn’t have split us up, and I should’ve gotten to him quicker when he pulled that knife. So, yeah, I’m real sorry Ramshorn.”

“Oh. It’s uh, it’s fine.” Raelle tilted her head to the side, not believing for a minute that it was fine. Scylla shook her head lightly and laughed, “Really! I hear women think scars are badass anyway.”

“One time. I said that one time, and now it’s everyone’s favourite thing to bring up!”

“You were high on pain meds and trying to flirt with the married doctor stitching up your shoulder.” Scylla’s grin grew, “We’re never letting you forget it.”

Raelle reluctantly let herself laugh, “Fuck you.”

“Nah, I don’t think my doctor would advise that for a day or two.” Her grin dropped and she tore her eyes from the blonde’s face to focus on her lap, “Apparently I’m supposed to be on bed rest for two days, and not in a fun way.”

Trying to shake the images the words conjured in her brain, Raelle stumbled over her words, “Speaking of, who’s pickin’ you up?”

The brunette scoffed and met Raelle’s eyes again, “I’m not a child Collar, I can get myself home.”

“You got stabbed in the thigh Ramshorn, you can’t just hobble on down to the subway.” Apparently, getting cut off before saying what she wanted was a pattern for Raelle today, because just then a sweet old nurse popped in to help Scylla sign discharge papers.

“There we are sweetie. Now remember, bed rest for two days, walk with the crutch until you can put weight on it without too much pain, and no exertion for a week. It might just be a small wound, but healing isn’t instantaneous.” She looked up from her chart and asked, “You’ve got your meds and everything else you need yeah?”

Scylla nodded, beaming, “Yeah. Thank you, Denise!”

Raelle watched as the nurse walked away, and as soon as she was out of earshot, Raelle turned back, “Oh look at that, you can be charming? Who’d have known.” Scylla rolled her eyes, but Raelle caught the corners of her lips turning up.

“So, I was thinking, and since this was sort of my fault, I should probably drive you home?”

“I’d rather crawl home on all fours.”

“Well darling, that might just be your only other option. Who else are you gonna call?”

“Byron.”

A Cheshire cat grin crept up on Raelle’s face, “Aw the pain meds have gone to your head. Byron’s on the West Coast meeting Porter’s parents this week, remember? Come on, it won’t be that bad!”

“Won’t it?” But Scylla got up off the bed and started picking up her badge and gun anyway, before following Raelle’s path to the car.

After Scylla rebuffed her offer to help her get into the car, Raelle pulled open her own door and got ready to leave, “You haven’t moved in the last three weeks, have you?”

“Nope. Sucks I’ll have to miss game night this week but if I show up at Tally’s tonight, I think she’ll faint and then carry me the whole way home. Can you tell everyone I’m sorry?” Game night was taken very seriously by the entire squad, not showing up was considered a punishable offence, especially by whoever was hosting that night. Scylla figured Tally would give her a pass this Thursday but wasn’t convinced everybody else would forgive her absence anytime soon, especially after her last game night infringement.

“When was the last time you ate?”

Scylla’s head snapped around, her face scrunched up in confusion, “What?”

“We left the precinct at two, my guess is you had lunch at one like usual. It’s seven, so I assume it’s safe to say you need food? Not to mention, you live on the fifth floor with no elevator, how did you plan on hobbling up that alone.”

“I don’t need your help, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”

“Well you sure can’t do it without my help.”

“Are you going to let this go or not?”

“Not a chance, Ramshorn.”

“Fine, you can help me up the stairs, but after that, you go on your merry way.” Scylla slumped in defeat, angry that she’d let Raelle see her so weak. She should have let Glory take her home, nothing could be more embarrassing than seeming like an invalid in front of Collar.

They spent the rest of the journey ignoring each other, Raelle occasionally fiddling with the radio and mumbling along which, if Scylla was being completely honest with herself, was pretty damn adorable. Forcing herself to turn her eyes out the passenger window, Scylla cursed herself for still finding the blonde so attractive and let her eyes fall closed as the traffic idled.


	2. Chapter 2

She stirs to an elegant hand gently shaking her shoulder and Raelle’s furrowed eyebrows staring at her, “I get that it’s been a long day, but as strong as I am, I don’t think I’ll make it up all those stairs carrying you without banging your head against a wall. "A mischievous smile broke onto her face, “Can’t send you to the hospital twice in one day or people will think I don’t like you or something.”

The brunette grunted in response before pulling herself out of the car and then looked over disorientated at Raelle as she took Scylla’s left arm and wrapped it around her shoulder instead of giving her the crutch to lean on. Raelle met the questioning gaze but said nothing, simply picking up the crutch and the bag of Scylla’s stuff with her left arm. The two struggled up the stairs with heavy breathing and more than a few groans of pain from Scylla, though she’d deny it vehemently should the blonde mention it ever again. They stopped to catch their breath outside Scylla’s apartment, and then she pulled her keys from her pocket and opened the door, letting the two shuffle in awkwardly. Scylla fumbled for the light switch, but before she could succeed, Raelle was pulling her towards her open bedroom door.

How comfortable Raelle seemed navigating her tiny apartment might’ve been unsettling, if not for the rotating system for game night which meant that the girl had spent more hours than most in her space. Still, the idea of Raelle leading her into her own bedroom had more of an effect on Scylla than she’d like to admit. Leaning the crutch and Scylla’s bag against the wall and then propping her own form against it, Raelle said, “You okay to get yourself comfy while I find you somethin’ to eat?”. And if Raelle guiding her towards the room stirred something in the pit of her stomach, it was nothing compared to the visceral reaction she had to the flashbacks of Raelle pushing her up against the very wall she now casually draped herself in front of.

Scylla gulped. _God, she hoped that was subtle,_ “I thought we agreed you’d leave now, you’re already late for game night.”

“Exactly. So what’s it matter if I’m a little later?” Raelle took a step away from the wall, suddenly very aware of the last time she’d been in this room. An awkward air had settled, and she couldn’t tell if it was just her or if Scylla felt it too.

When the other woman didn’t respond, Raelle spoke again, “Get into bed,” Scylla’s eyebrow shot up at her choice of words, and Raelle sighed, looking in the direction of the exit she was now itching to get out of, “I’ll be back soon.”

Raelle turned on her heel, chastising herself for making things even weirder. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t know what it was about Scylla that always made her so frustrated. She could acknowledge to herself at least that she got a thrill from their constant bickering, but Scylla kept her on her toes and if she was being honest, she was getting tired of it. Sometimes Raelle kind of just wanted to have a civil conversation with the dark-haired detective. A part of her had thought that after the incident, which was the only way she could refer to it even in her own head, that either the two could somehow mend their dysfunctional relationship or Scylla would just flat out ignore her. Instead, she’d walked into the precinct the next morning and Scylla had been even more aggressive than usual. Since then, she’d given up on any hope for civility, but she wasn’t going to leave the woman hungry when it was her own fault she was bed-ridden.

After a trip to the nearest bodega, a lot of snooping through Scylla’s kitchen and half an hour of struggling to remember the recipe, Raelle left the small kitchen with a bowl in one hand and a glass of water in the other. She stopped short of her destination at the sight of Scylla trying to haul a tv larger than herself from its place in the living room to her bedroom, limping along and gritting her teeth.

“What is _wrong_ with you? Put that down.” Scylla paused only to look directly at the blonde and roll her eyes, then carried on with her struggle.

“For the love of God, get back into bed and eat your soup. I’ll come back and take that in when my hands are free.”

They stared at each other, seeing whose stubbornness would win out. Wordlessly lowering the TV to the floor, Scylla thought about telling Raelle to fuck off again, but even though she didn’t like it, her leg was aching, and she needed the help. Plus, she doubted it’d lack the desired level of conviction as she wobbled to keep her balance without putting weight on her left leg. When she slid back into bed, Raelle passed her a warm bowl, “Vegan chicken noodle soup.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be for when you catch the flu, not stab wounds?” The pain was starting to get to her, so sadly her words lacked their usual bite. She couldn’t deny that the soup smelled amazing, and between that and having someone there to take care of her, she felt cosier than she could remember having felt since her parents were alive. Even if that person was Collar.

“Yeah, I guess. But my mama always made it when I was any type of off. Broken bones or chicken pox, didn’t matter what it was, she’d get the big pot out and tell me chicken noodle soup cured everything. Mind you, mine had real chicken in it, so this mightn’t work the same.” Scylla grabbed her wrist as she went to leave her bedside, and when Raelle met her eyes she wasn’t expecting the sincerity that she found in them, “Thank you.”

It was the softest Raelle had ever seen the woman. Even when she was joking around with Byron, Scylla always had a controlled mask, she rarely ever let herself be so open. It felt impossible to pull her eyes from Scylla’s and when she eventually did, she almost regretted looking away so soon.

Scylla straightened her torso and brought the spoon to her mouth as Raelle shook herself from her trance like state and tiptoed to the bedroom door. “No problem,” Why was her voice so shaky, _control yourself Rae_ , “I’m gonna grab the TV now.” Scylla nodded and the blonde went to leave the room, trying not to let quiet hum of contentment Scylla let out echo in her mind.

They didn’t talk as she carried the TV into the room and set it up on the chest of drawers opposite Scylla’s bed, or when she placed the remote beside Scylla’s hand, but as she headed back out of the room Scylla murmured gently, “Could I have some more? I know I sort of made fun of it before, but it’s actually pretty great.”

Without thinking, Raelle smiled softly, “Yeah uh, of course. I’ll get you some now, and then I’m gonna clean up the mess I made of your kitchen. Just shout if you need anything.” She took another step out the door and shouted behind her, “Oh, and don’t forget to take your pain meds! I can see you grinding your teeth.”

When Raelle walked back into the bedroom after tidying up, Scylla was watching Lilo and Stitch with heavy, barely open eyes and a dopey smile on her face. She almost stopped short in the doorway but forced herself to reach the foot of the bed. She’d seen the brunette angry and sad and grumpy and every other emotion under the sun. She’d seen her look like a walking zombie after bad days at work and so stunningly attractive that it made her forget all the problems she’d ever had with the woman. Not once in the past eight years had she seen the woman look _cute._ It was unsettling. Sometimes Scylla seemed so above everything that Raelle forgot she was human, but here she was wrapped up in her comforter like a child just tucked into bed. She kind of wanted to take a photo so that she had proof.

When Scylla’s head twisted in her direction, she could tell immediately why she’d let her guard down so much. Pain meds. There was a loopy smile on her face as she stared at Raelle, and for once, no scathing comment aimed at the blonde.

“Hey.” And just like that, Scylla Ramshorn giggled at her. Like a 5 year old. She must be losing it. There was no way this wasn’t a hallucination.

“Uh hi.” Raelle paused, still a little disorientated from the unrecognisable woman in front of her, “So I was just about to head out, unless there’s anything else you need?”

Scylla’s smile dropped, quickly replaced by a pout, “Oh. Okay.”

“So that’s a no then?”

“No what?”

“No, you don’t need anything else?”

“Oh no,” A yawn snuck out of her mouth midway through the word, “I think I’m just going to sleep now.”

“Okay cool. See you when I see you, I guess.”

Raelle had already made it out the bedroom door and heard the TV click off when Scylla softly called out, “Wait.” She only turned around halfway, half expecting the brunette to have come back to her senses and send Raelle off with biting words. But her face still had that dopey tenderness, so she waited patiently for Scylla to say what she wanted to.

“I just… Thank you,” She bit her bottom lip nervously, and Raelle felt her whole body melt at the words, “You really didn’t need to do all this, so thanks.” Her eyes fluttered closed before she finished her sentence, and Raelle was definitely having a problem with what this adorable version of Scylla was making her feel.

She left the apartment, keeping her footsteps as quiet as she could and slumped against the door after closing it. It had been a long day, that was why she was so conflicted. It was just her exhaustion. Her physical attraction to Scylla was nothing new, and this weird fuzziness was just a weird manifestation of her guilt and her own sleepiness. She took a deep breath and resolved to forget all about the evening, then checked her watch and decided it was worth a shot to try and catch the end of game night. Her retribution for missing would be much worse if she did not show up at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what way I'm gonna upload schedule wise, but it'll almost definitely be less frequent after the 5 or so chapters I've written are all out.  
> Also, the chapters will probably be more similar to this length than the first.


	3. Chapter 3

Raelle wasn’t overly concerned about Tally’s reaction to her absence, it was Abigail that had her worried. She had been partnered with the Bellweather straight out of the Academy, and initially her relationship with the woman made her and Scylla look like best friends. Thankfully, Tally (who had somehow wormed her way into Abigail’s heart at the Academy) slowly forced the women into a friendship which now felt more like a sisterhood. The three of them had been inseparable since, and although Tally lived with her boyfriend Gerit, Abigail and Raelle had been living together for 4 years with a revolving door of one night stands and relationships that never lasted more than 3 months. Raelle wasn’t sure if she was hoping that Abigail was still at Tally’s or that she had gone home. On the one hand, if she had already left then Raelle would have to face having missed the entirety of game night, but if she was still here then Abigail would have no qualms about eating her alive in front of all of their colleagues (and their partners in some cases). It was a lose-lose.

As she reached the door of Tally’s building Glory came bustling out, clearly tipsy, but able to collect herself when she recognised Raelle, “Ooooh you’re in trouble.” Why was everyone giggling today? Apparently, Glory wasn’t finished, “It’s only Abigail left up there with Tally and Gerit. She is _not_ happy.”

Fuck. Worst case scenario, she had missed all of game night and Abigail was going to ream her out in front of Tally and Gerit. She really had pissed off some higher power today, hadn’t she? Well, best to face the beast sooner rather than later, “Thanks for the heads up. See you tomorrow.”

Her hands were fidgety as she knocked Tally’s door, but she didn’t have to wait long until Abigail opened it and greeted her with a scowl. “You do know it’s 11pm, don’t you?”

“Yup.” She rocked nervously on her feet.

“Abi don’t be mean, let Raelle in.” Maybe Tally being here was a bonus, she certainly seemed happy to see the girl at the door.

“Yeah Abi, don’t be mean.” She was pushing her luck with the mocking tone, but she was tired and had lost her filter after spending so much time with Scylla. “I had a long day in case you forgot.”

“Oh I’m sorry, were you the one that got stabbed? I must have heard the rumours wrong. I’d have thought you’d be celebrating the Wicked Witch of the West’s hospitalisation.” Gerit placed a can of beer in her hand as Raelle got to her usual spot on the sofa. She loved Gerit.

“Jesus Bells!” She cracked open her beer and took a sip, eyes focused on the can. Swallowing loudly Raelle continued, “How many people think I let her get stabbed on purpose?”

“Numbers were a little low tonight with Byron and Porter gone and Ramshorn stabbed, but Glory definitely suggested you might have. Anacostia shut her down, so I think you’re good on that front.” Abigail shifted in her seat, and Raelle thought she might have gotten away unscathed, but then, “What’s not okay is you not showing up without even texting anyone. What the fuck, Rae.”

“I’m sorry, okay! What more do you want?”

“An explanation would be nice.”

“I was swamped with paperwork from earlier.”

“Bullshit.” Abigail’s stare was piercing, “Anacostia filled out the incident report and filed the arrest, not to mention that both me and Tally left after you today. Where were you?”

Raelle took a deep breath and focused on her beer again, her words barely audible when she whispered, “I took Ramshorn home from the hospital.”

“Called it.” She whipped her head around to see Tally smiling like a maniac. Abigail’s scowl was now a smirk. She knew where this was going, and she hated it.

“Enjoy playing knight in shining armour, Collar?”

“Shove off Bells. You know she hasn’t got anyone, and it _was_ practically my fault.” She could hear how defensive she sounded. It was not a good look.

“Did you kiss it better?” She wanted to punch Abigail. She rolled her eyes instead.

Gerit got up from where he’d been sitting and excused himself for the night, knowing how the three got when the conversation took this turn. Raelle really loved Gerit.

“Will you ever let that go?”

“You know, it’s okay if you like her Raelle.” Oh fabulous, now Tally was jumping on the bandwagon.

“I don’t like her!” They’d had this conversation several times over the last three months, each time riling Raelle up more than the previous, so even though she’d meant to be stern her words just came across as exasperated.

“But you did make out with her.” Abigail, as usual, pulled the trump card.

“We were both drunk.” And they had done more than make out, but Raelle had been lying to her sisters for too long about that to tell them now. She would never live it down.

It had happened on game night, and things had followed their usual pattern for the first half of the evening- Scylla and Raelle bickering constantly, Abigail winning every game and people constantly flinging allegations of cheating. But Raelle was drained, and where normally she held herself back, that night she couldn’t stop herself from giving just as good as she got with the brunette. Safe to say, everyone there was tense and at least half the room had drunk past their regular buzz in an attempt to ignore the tension.

Her and Scylla had gotten into a full-blown argument over something stupid the blonde had done that day and Scylla, who had been hosting, stormed off to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her like a child. But the room collectively decided it was up to Raelle to deal with it and so she had knocked on the door and asked Scylla to let her in.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, the shouting match had started again. Just when Raelle thought they were never going to get out of the circular argument they were stuck in, she got up in Scylla’s face and gritted out, “Fuck you.”

Before she even knew what was happening, the brunette’s hands had grabbed her face and pulled her lips down to hers. It would be a lie to say that Raelle did anything but push forward into the other girl, quickly backing her into the wall. Things were rushed and heated, and it wasn’t until Scylla came around her fingers that Raelle had sobered up enough to realise what was happening. Immediately, she’d panicked, wiped her hand against her trousers and stuttered, “Fuck, I… I should go.”

Scylla had watched her go quietly, still dazed and catching her breath when the door closed behind Raelle. In hindsight, Raelle knew her reaction hadn’t been the best, but her head was spinning and all she could think about was getting out of there. The next morning, she had tried to talk to Scylla about what had happened, but the other woman acted like nothing had changed. The only difference seemed to be a temporary increase in the callousness behind her words.

They hadn’t uttered a word to each other about it since, and everyone who had been at that game night was under the impression that they had just made out. Neither woman had said anything, but it was pretty obvious that they’d been kissing from their swollen lips and the hickey left on Raelle’s neck. They hadn’t felt the need to explain what had actually taken place.

“We’ve all seen you stare at her ass Shitbird, don’t kid yourself.” If anyone else had said it Raelle would’ve been fuming, but Abigail’s tone was light.

Raelle forced her lips into a smirk, thoughts back on the people in the room, “Oh I can admit that I think she’s attractive, I just don’t have feelings for her.” If she had said it yesterday, it might have felt true. But now all she could think about was how adorable Scylla had looked wrapped up like a burrito with soft eyes thanking her. She really needed to get some sleep.

Tired as she was, she didn’t miss the look that passed between Abigail and Tally, but she did choose to ignore it when Tally spoke up, “Whatever you say, Rae.”

“Well you look like shit. Ready to head home?” Abigail didn’t wait for an answer, she stood up and hugged Tally while Raelle chugged the end of her beer.

“Yeah, I could sleep for a week.” She took her turn saying her goodbyes to Tally and the pair made quick work of their journey home.

She couldn’t remember when she’d last been so happy to fall into bed, already bemoaning how soon her alarm would go off. At least she only had one more day before her weekend. She shuffled for a while before getting comfortable, but then quickly succumbed to her slumber, Scylla’s fluttering eyelashes stuck in her head. The list of things she couldn’t admit out loud was getting unreasonably long.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to emphasise that the whole updating everyday is not going to last. I am a mess, keep your expectations low

Loud beeping drew her from the empty bliss of sleep. Her throat disgustingly dry and her thigh throbbing, Scylla threw an arm over her eyes. She gave herself another five minutes before dragging her body from the cosy shelter of her blankets and stumbling to the bathroom. The memory of the night before hit her while she shuffled around the room, freezing her entire body. Suddenly overcome with embarrassment, she let out a groan and reached for her phone to call Byron.

No answer.

She would just have to forget all about it. She’d been shocked when Raelle had shown up at the ER, and again when she decided to take her home. And then when she made her soup. Vegan soup, despite Raelle thinking her veganism was pompous and all for show. It was tempting to linger on the blonde’s kindness, to think about her smiles and the hair not in neat braids falling in her face as she busied about Scylla’s apartment, but Scylla didn’t want to fall down that path again. She’d been burned by the Collar charm before and it was easier to maintain their rivalry than to consider what might happen if she let Raelle challenge Scylla’s opinions of her.

Loathing the southern girl was second nature to her at this stage, and she just needed to focus on all the reasons she had. By the time Scylla staggered into the precinct, crutch squeezed begrudgingly under her arm, she was still fifteen minutes early. The only other person there was Anacostia, who looked a little perplexed at her presence but didn’t ask any questions. She doubted that would be the case for everyone that came through the doors.

She was proved right when Raelle and Abigail strolled through the door five minutes before the clock hit nine. The pair arrived at the same time every day, the Bellweather refusing to be anything but early in fear her mother would find out. Scylla rolled her eyes in her head, _27 and still afraid of mommy dearest._ Raelle abruptly ended her chatter with the taller woman at her side as her eyes landed on Scylla’s desk. Face twisting in anger, she stormed over to Scylla and kept her voice low when she spoke, “You’re meant to be on bedrest.”

“Aww, are you worried about me?”

“Cut the crap Ramshorn, what are you doing here? I already told Anacostia you’d be out sick today.” An exasperated sigh fell from her lips, “Literally all you had to do was stay in bed all day. Surely even you can manage that?”

“I’m fine, stop overreacting.” Scylla calmed herself before she said, “Besides, I’m only doing paperwork. Sitting here is no different than me sitting at home, so I might as well get through some work.”

There were more bodies filtering into the room now, and Raelle could feel the inquisitive eyes on her back. _Great, yesterday I got her stabbed and now everyone thinks I’m over here harassing her more. How does she always make me look like the bad guy. In_ terrupting the chatter behind her, she heard Abigail call out, “Hey everyone, Lunch is on Collar today.” She whipped around to glare at Abigail, completely confused. Abigail just raised her chin and said, “You shouldn’t miss game night.”

Sighing, she returned her focus to her previous problem, "Fine. I am gonna tell Byron though.” Not bothering to fake any niceties, she turned and went to her own desk in the farthest corner of the room from Scylla.

Fuck. Byron would not be happy that she’d managed to get herself stabbed in the one week he left the city, never mind that she was ignoring her doctor’s advice. They’d been best friends since high school. Even New York high schools were rampant with homophobia, and while Scylla wasn’t out when they met, Byron wasn’t exactly able to hide is queerness. She’d picked him up and dusted him off after some prick on the football team took a swing at him, and the two had been each other’s support system since.

Byron was the only person she still knew that had known her before her parents died, and it was comforting to never have to explain herself to him. He understood her better than anyone, and she wasn’t sure what would have become of her after her parents’ death if she hadn’t had him to drag her out of her sadness.

Raelle wasn’t bluffing either. Her and Byron got along like a house on fire, and they had since Scylla had introduced him to the squad- which she’d only done in the first place so she could set Byron up with Porter without having to actively tell either of them she was doing it.

It had made the brunette anxious at first, knowing full well that Byron would remember the embarrassing crush she’d had on the other woman years prior and also a little bit afraid Byron would like Raelle better than he liked her. It was a completely unfounded concern of course, and Byron could read her well enough to know she needed some reassuring, but their friendship still needled at her. Plus, he never shut up about the crush. He was going to be a nightmare when he saw her next, and there was no way she could avoid him all weekend when his flight was due back midday.

Slumping a little at the thought, Scylla slogged on with her paperwork, thankful for the numbness the repetition gave her brain.

* * *

Turns out, Byron wasn’t going to let her avoid him at all. When she exited the building at six o’clock, he was leaning against the car she’d driven to work the morning before, her spare set of keys dangling from one hand and a bottle of red wine in the other. Despite her apprehension, she relaxed at the sight of him. She needed to be around someone who she could let her walls down with, and sadly, Byron was probably the only person in her life who fit the bill.

“I left for one week. One week, and you get stabbed and your arch nemesis calls to tell me you’re ignoring doctors.” He had the audacity to make a pathetic attempt at air quotes with his already full hands when he said arch nemesis.

“Keep your voice down,” Scylla glanced over her shoulder quickly, “Please.”

“Get in loser. We’re going gossiping.”

She rolled her eyes but tried to hobble over to the driver’s side anyway.

“No chance honey, your driving sucks on a good day. Passenger seat for you.”

There was no point arguing, she’d lose. She let him help her into the passenger seat and caught him up on all the petty gossip of the week, leaving out the events of the day before knowing full well that they would take a deep dive when they got back to her apartment. She found the anxiety that had lingered for the past day drifting away and by the time they limped through her apartment door, she felt more like herself.

“Can you drink with whatever meds you’re on?”

Feeling her cheeks heat up at the memory of the night before, she replied, “I’m not taking them anymore. Grab the big glasses.”

“Pizza or Thai?” He sat the glasses on the table and fell down on the opposite end of the couch.

“Pizza. No Porter tonight?” Her legs stretched out and landed in his lap, too sore to curl under her in their usual fashion, and she wiggled around to try and get comfortable,

“I love him, but we’ve been glued to each other for a week. Besides, I thought you might hold back if he tagged along.” He was right. She was closer to Porter than anyone else on the squad, largely due to his relationship with Byron, but she was cautious about talking to him about Raelle given that they all worked together.

After Byron called in their usual order, he turned to her with purpose in his stare, “So, spill.”

“There isn’t that much to say,” she looked down to her fidgeting hands, “I got pulled into a case with Collar, we split up and I got stabbed. Not much of a story.” She was very aware that she was not going to be able to prevent this interrogation, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t try.

“Then why did she call me this morning to rant about you being stubborn and reckless and something about a TV that I didn’t really understand?” Raelle Collar was a snitch, that’s why.

The two stared at each other until Scylla gave in, “Okay, so she might have shown up at the hospital to apologise and then maybe she coerced me into letting her take me home.”

Byron just quirked an eyebrow, “You wish she would take you home.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and then became serious again, “We both know it would take more than that for you to be this squeamish about the whole thing. Stop being a wimp and tell me.”

“She made me soup and cleaned my kitchen and then caught me watching Lilo and Stitch.” Her head had dropped into her hands by this stage, cringing at the thought of it. “God, those meds knocked me on my ass, it was so embarrassing.”

Byron put his glass beside hers on the table, “Aww, Nurse Collar swooping in and saving the day. Bet that’ll keep your dreams fun for a while.”

Scylla kicked him with her good leg, “Shut up.”

She picked up her wine and gulped down half the glass before groaning, the hand not holding the glass still holding her cheek in mortification, “I think I giggled.”

“Face it Scylla, you’ve still got a big fat bisexual crush on her!” Byron laughed, giddy from the wine and the thought of his grumpy best friend giggling at a pretty girl.

“I do not.” And she didn’t. Did she want to fuck the woman senseless? Yes. But that was very different from having _feelings._ She’d gotten over those a long time ago, but that didn’t magically make the blonde woman any less attractive. The knock on the door interrupted her defence, and Byron got up to grab the pizza.

When Byron returned he already had a slice in his mouth, but it was surprisingly easy to decipher his words as he handed her her own pizza, “I call bullshit.”

“I don’t have a crush, I’m just horny- there’s a difference.” He was infuriating. They’d had this debate an unfathomable number of times since Byron had met the squad, and it never got less frustrating.

“If that was the case, you would’ve gotten it out of your system when she fucked you with us all in the next room. But that’s not what happened, is it.” She never should have told him that, but to be fair to her, she had been spiralling at the time.

He decided to throw her a bone instead of making her reply, “You know, I thought it would’ve happened again when you told me.”

She picked at the pineapple on the slice in her hand, trying to pretend the topic was having less of an effect than it was, “Thought what would happen again?”

“Sex.”

Her head snapped up so fast Byron was concerned she may have to take another trip to the hospital for whiplash, “What?” Her confusion was genuine, “Why?”

“I mean, we know how you feel about it. And she’s certainly never been shy about checking you out. When you told me what happened, I just assumed you guys would hook up.”

“Collar does not check me out. And for the millionth time, we hate each other.” Her words were meant to be firm, but he knew her too well.

Byron scoffed, “You don’t have to like each other. People sleep together for all kinds of reasons Scyl. Hell, you’ve had more than one friend with benefits over the years, why would this be any different?”

“Whatever, she couldn’t get out of that room fast enough. And nothing’s happened since, so end of story I guess.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, Byron’s hand resting on the leg closest to him in an attempt to comfort her. Scylla was good at hiding what she felt, but it was obvious that the blonde’s quick escape that night had hurt her. He figured he’d pushed her enough for one night, and swapped topics, “Want to hear about how much Porter’s parents _love_ me?”

“Oh, do tell!” Good, he’d gotten her to laugh at least, even if she was obviously still stuck on the charming blonde. They spent the rest of the evening finishing off a second bottle of wine and ended up cuddled together, making fun of reality TV. By the time Byron left and Scylla got into her bed, all her thoughts about the southern girl had been shoved aside.


	5. Chapter 5

When she walked into work on Monday morning, Raelle had done her best to forget about the week before. She was ready to start fresh this week. As soon as Captain Quartermain arrived in front of her and placed a pile of case files almost as tall as Raelle herself on her table, her good week ended, “A deal’s a deal, Collar. Have fun with all of your paperwork.”

Resigned to her fate, she started slowly flipping through the documents. It felt like hours had passed when she stood up to go get filter coffee, but according to the clock it had only been fifteen minutes. Sadly, the coffee machine was located directly behind Scylla’s desk. Scylla didn’t even drink coffee. Raelle was convinced she’d chosen that desk purely so she could make snarky comments when Raelle got coffee, but Scylla never wavered in her story of having chosen the seat because it was the farthest one possible from her. Bracing herself for what she knew was coming, Raelle neared the coffee.

As expected, Scylla sent her a smug look, “Only you could piss Anacostia off enough to get stuck with that much paperwork. What was it this time?”

“Oh you know, the usual. Got caught trying to put arsenic in your weird mint teabags.” Easier to play Scylla’s game than have her find out she’d bargained with Anacostia to get to the hospital as soon as possible.

“I did think it tasted weird today.”

“How’s the leg?”

“Spend a lot of time thinking about my legs?”

Her hand recoiled as hot coffee spilled onto it. _Yes._ “No, but I do spend a lot of time fantasising about you getting stabbed.”

“Sorry to disappoint Collar, but my leg’s good as new.” Apparently the conversation was boring her, because Scylla focused back on her own pile of work.

The rest of Raelle’s day was just as boring as the first fifteen minutes of paperwork had been. She counted down the seconds until she could leave and then told Abigail that she’d see her at home.

* * *

After calling her pops for their weekly catchup, Raelle went for a run. Her Monday full of paperwork bled into her Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday full of paperwork, and then suddenly it was Game night and she found herself standing back outside Scylla’s door with Abigail and Tally at her side.

The trio were the second to arrive, and Raelle immediately beelined for Byron, excited to see him for the first time in two weeks. She was prepared for the teasing he dealt her over the previous week, it was well known that Byron was the one person capable of prying information out of Scylla and there was no universe where he hadn’t been told all about Raelle looking after the woman. She loved Byron, but sometimes it confounded her as to how someone so kind was so close to the prickly brunette. It was unnerving seeing them together, Scylla was so much less controlled around him, but maybe that’s just what happened when you’d been friends for 13 years.

Game night was relatively tame compared to some of their more memorable ones, but everyone being there after the previous week’s absences caused enough ruckus that it was probably better that way. It was later than usual when everyone eventually began to leave in drips and drabs, and then Raelle, Tally and Abigail were the last people to pull their coats on and head for the door.

“Wait. Collar, could we talk?” Scylla had been trying to ignore Byron’s voice in her head since he’d come over Friday, and she’d been succeeding for the most part, but she hasn’t been able to get rid of her feelings about Raelle’s quick departure three months back. Now that the words were out of her mouth though, she wasn’t sure how she could go about this conversation without seeming pathetic.

“Eh, I guess.” Raelle turned to speak to her friends before taking her coat back off and draping it over the back of the couch, “You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up.” She could hear Tally and Abigail whispering in what they must have thought were hushed voices on the other side of the door and rolled her eyes imaging what they were saying.

For once she had no clue why Scylla wanted to talk to her. While the woman constantly found ways to get into her head, she rarely went out of her way to initiate anything. She didn’t normally want to stay in the same room as Raelle when she didn’t have to. “Is this about me saying you suck at monopoly? Because you do, but I didn’t mean to start anything.” She did suck at monopoly, but Raelle was pretty sure it was because she wasn’t putting any effort in. Everybody knew Abigail would win in the end.

“What? No, I,” Scylla took a deep breath and leaned her body weight backwards against the kitchen counter, very aware of how cramped her tiny apartment was. “I uh,” Is there a way to casually ask why you ran out as fast as you could after fucking someone against a wall? “You know what, never mind. You should catch up to Tally and Abigail, I’m sure they haven’t made it that far yet.”

Raelle ignored her and approached instead, “Ramshorn, your squirming like a teenager caught sneaking out past curfew. I would know, I was that teenager.” A joking smile briefly lit her face before she said, “Just come out with it.”

Scylla turned back around to busy herself with tidying the counter and tried to get her mouth to open, but she just couldn’t force the question out.

“Fine then. See you tomorrow.”

Fuck it. Before Raelle could take another step, Scylla let the words tumble out, “Why did you run out so quickly?”

Both women were perfectly still as the words filled the room, “What?”

Scylla let her eyes flicker to her open bedroom door and back, thankful Raelle couldn’t see her face. “Three months ago.” Her teeth were grinding together, “You ran out like you’d seen a ghost or something.”

“Oh.”

“Forget it. You really should catch up with the others. I’ll um,” She swallowed in an attempt to dispel some nervousness, “I’ll see you at work.”

She kept on shuffling things around on top of the counter, but the room was quiet and Raelle hadn’t budged. Just as she was going to turn and repeat herself, Raelle finally spoke softly, “I panicked.”

“You don’t have to-“

“We’d both been drinking more than usual, and you’ve made it abundantly clear that you dislike me. I thought things would get weird and I ran before I could even think it through. It was a shitty thing to do.”

Scylla stood frozen against the counter, “It’s fine.”

“I tried to talk to you about it the next morning, but you were pretty adamant about acting like nothing had happened so I just… let it go.”

Slumping, Scylla spoke gently, “I panicked too. My panicking just started later.” Finally, she faced the blonde, chewing her lip to distract herself, “I thought I’d done something, or you regretted it or… something. I thought that was why you hightailed it out of here.” Her eyes caught Raelle’s and stayed there.

“Oh. No. I mean, I regret how I left. But not, not that.”

She’d lied when she told herself she’d stopped thinking about what Byron had said. And if she was going to embarrass herself, she might as well go full bore. Mustering all the bravado she could, eyes still on Raelle’s, she went for it.

“In that case,” Her eyes flitted down to Raelle’s lips and back up, smirk growing, “Any chance you want to do it again?”

Raelle gulped, scrambling for words, and Scylla decided that her flustered speechlessness was much more entertaining that their usual bickering. She knew she had a glint in her eyes as she tilted her head, nudging a response from the other woman.

“Like, right now?”

“Well, I actually meant whenever the urge struck one of us.” She let a soft laugh fall out, “But now works for me.” God this was fun. She should have done this earlier, why hadn’t she done this earlier?

Raelle’s eyes closed and she breathed out. “Just to be clear,” Her eyes opened again, firmly back on Scylla’s, “You’re suggesting we have sex, regularly, with no strings and no weirdness?”

The brunette took a few slow steps forward and stopped a foot away from Raelle. Eyes never breaking contact, she nodded slowly. Her breathing was shallow as she rasped, “Yeah.”

And then suddenly Raelle had pulled her across the last foot of space, one hand on her waist, the other tilting her head up to bring their lips together. Scylla fell into her easily, clutching the front of her loose t-shirt and pressing herself flush against the warmth of the other girl. Neither had any hesitation about how badly they wanted this, and when Scylla heard a soft moan as she brought her mouth to Raelle’s neck, it went straight to her core. Pulling away with heavy breath after a few minutes, Scylla murmured, “As much as I’m enjoying this, I don’t think my leg will let me do this standing up this time.”

Raelle leaned forward to join their lips again, and her hands snaked down from where they had been, pausing to grab the brunette’s ass before reaching her outer thighs and pulling them off the floor to wrap around her hips. Walking to the bedroom, Raelle nipped at Scylla’s collarbone, relishing in the way she squeezed herself tighter around the blonde. After gently setting the woman on the bed, wary of her healing wound, Raelle drew back to kick off her shoes. Deciding not to waste any more time, she pulled off her t-shirt and bra before crawling on top of the waiting body, Scylla’s eyes glued to her the entire time.

As soon as she leaned back down to meet lips she’d spent too many nights dreaming about, Scylla flipped her on her back, hands resting either side of her head. Raelle let one of her hands reach up to wrap in her dark hair, drawing a hum from the girl above her, and felt a thigh fall between hers to press firmly at her centre. Scylla’s mouth moved lower, leaving a slow trail of dark marks along the pale neck down to her chest. Toying with the belt at Raelle’s waist, she raised her gaze to the blonde’s face, “May I?”

If Raelle had been thinking clearly, she would’ve been ashamed of how desperate she sounded so soon, but as it was, all she cared about was soothing the building heat in her core, “Please.”

Scylla yanked her own sweater off and had Raelle naked in no time, and when she grazed a finger lightly against her clit, Raelle couldn’t stop the moan that fell from her lips. Scylla was smirking again, stupid smug face. Leaving her fingers there, barely touching where Raelle needed them, she brought her lips back to the other woman’s chest to wrap around a nipple. From underneath her, she could feel Raelle trying to push up into her hand, so she pulled it away and glanced up to meet her eyes. Quirking an eyebrow and pulling her lips from warm skin, she asked, “Need something?”

“I swear Ramshorn, if your fingers aren’t in me soon, I will kill you.” She wasn’t sure she was bluffing, Scylla was driving her crazy. She could feel her everywhere and as overwhelming as it was she still needed more.

Scylla puffed a laugh, “That might be counterproductive.” And then delicate fingers were back teasing her clit, pulling needy whines from the woman below.

Squeezing her eyes shut, pride completely out the window, Raelle opened her mouth again, “Please.”

Lowering her head back to Raelle’s chest, Scylla whispered lightly against her skin, “Since you said please,” and proceeded to take the other nipple against her tongue at the same time she pushed two fingers into Raelle. God, she was wet. Scylla didn’t believe in heaven, but damn if this wasn’t the closest thing she’d found to it.

Raelle arched up at the touch, releasing a breathy, “Fuck.”. She could feel Scylla’s smirk against her skin but didn’t have it in her to care. Keeping a steady pace with her right hand, Scylla started moving her mouth south, leaving wet kisses along her way until she settled herself between strong pale legs. Holding herself a breath away, she drew her eyes back up to Raelle’s. The room filled with the sound of Scylla’s hand moving through Raelle’s wetness and needy whimpers from the blonde.

Deciding she’d had enough, Raelle pushed Scylla closer with the hand in her hair, her other hand gripping the sheets beneath her as a wet mouth met her clit. Thighs squeezing around her head, Scylla’s tongue worked neat circles around the girl’s clit and her free hand tightened its hold on the canting hips beneath her.

It wasn’t long before the girl under her came, a choked, “Scylla” falling from her lips. Scylla kept going, letting Raelle ride out her orgasm before eventually slowing to a halt. Taking her fingers into her mouth she crawled up Raelle’s body, releasing her fingers when they were face to face so that she could steady herself above the girl. Smirking at the blonde trying to get her breathing back to normal, she asked, “You good?”

“More than.” Scylla let Raelle pull her into a kiss, humming when she felt herself being rolled onto her back. Fiddling with the button on Scylla’ jeans, Raelle repeated the brunette’s words back to her, laying her drawl on think, “May I?”.

Scylla was pretty sure she was going to die before the night was over. Good way to go though.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm gonna try and stick to uploading every other day from now on, but I make no promises

Raelle tried to close the door behind her as quietly as possible, praying she didn’t wake Abigail. All her efforts inevitably went to waste- Abigail had insomnia and was sitting on the couch in the dark when Raelle looked up.

“I was starting to think she’d finally snapped and done you in. Where the hell have you been?” Neither woman made any attempt to put on a light, there was no need, they'd both walked around the apartment blindly plenty of times .

Raelle shucked off her coat, “Ramshorn and I got into a fight. I needed to blow off some steam, so I text Lucy.” They’d agreed not to tell anyone, Scylla not wanting to deal with Byron being a pain, and Raelle having the same concerns about her own friends. Of course, both claimed it was to avoid any sticky situations professionally, but if they wanted to do that it was probably better to not sleep together in the first place.

“Lucy didn’t used to leave so many marks.” Abigail gestured towards her neck and Raelle started to wish she’d left the jacket on, “You guys seeing each other again?”

“No, we both know that’s a bad idea. It was just tonight, don’t worry.” She walked through to the kitchen to get a glass of water and headed to bed throwing a “Night, Bells” over her shoulder.

Instead of shouting her usual “Night, Shitbird.”, Abigail asked, “What did she want to talk about?”

‘Hmm?”

“Scylla. Why’d she ask you to stay behind?”

“Oh. She was pissed about monopoly.” Not wanting to answer any more questions, Raelle disappeared into her room. Collapsing into her bed, Raelle thought about everything that had happened since she walked inside Scylla’s apartment earlier that evening.

She hadn’t been expecting her night to turn out this way, but she couldn’t find any downsides to the new arrangement. Scylla was stunning, she already been far too aware of that, and part of her hoped that if they were sleeping together, Scylla might lighten up on the verbal sparring. She would need to get better at making up excuses for Abigail though.

* * *

The next two weeks flew by seamlessly, the shift in her and Scylla’s relationship seeming to benefit both of them, even if it also had unforeseen side effects. The pair didn’t slow down in their acerbic exchanges, but Scylla had developed a habit of riling her up on purpose when neither woman could do anything about it. Instead of letting the brunette win, Raelle had decided that two could play that game. It was a questionable decision that had on more than one occasion led to needy hands and desperate lips clashing messily in empty rooms at work.

They stuck strictly to their boundaries- no sleepovers, no feelings and no telling anyone. It was strange spending so much time in close proximity to Scylla. At work, they stayed on opposite ends of the room and rarely shared cases, at social gatherings they’d always sat as far away from each other as possible. Hell, once Raelle had crossed the street to avoid the woman on a weekend. Keeping their distance had been a key part of avoiding friction and keeping everyone around them happy, so they stayed away from one another in a perfectly choreographed dance.

Now, she spent hours and hours surrounded by Scylla. Having petty fights with her and being used to the sound of her breath in her ear should have made her feel conflicted, but somehow the dissonance made sense. Scylla still got under her skin, but she was also her release after a difficult day and neither girl felt that those experiences needed to be mutually exclusive. Things were good.

So, when Raelle called on Sunday evening to ask if she could come over that night, and Scylla told her she was on her period, Raelle’s first reaction was to ask, “Does that mean no? ‘Cause that doesn’t really change anything for me.”

“The blood isn’t the problem Collar.” She paused for a beat to sigh, and then said, “I feel like shit, I’m not in the mood to see anyone.” Another unforeseen effect of their relationship change was that Scylla had gotten much better at telling her what she needed, be it sex-related or not, instead of just getting frustrated and lashing out. And when Scylla set boundaries, you ignore them at your own risk. If she wanted to be left alone, Raelle would leave her alone, in spite of the part of her that wanted to be able to do something to help. It was a hard trait to shake, her need to help even people she disliked, but if 27 years had taught her anything it was that she needed to think before she ran in to save someone else. Especially when said person doesn’t want anything to do with her.

“Oh, okay. Cool.” Not quite sure what else to say, Raelle hung up after saying she’d see the other woman the next day. Raelle was one of those annoying people with a well-behaved womb. She barely got cramps and even though she was a pretty emotional person, her changed hormones didn’t have much of an impact. She wasn’t oblivious, she’d had friends with awful periods, and a few with endometriosis, and couldn’t imagine having to deal with more than she already did. Though she tried to pretend otherwise, Raelle was needy when she wasn’t feeling good, nobody would be safe if she had difficult periods. Even with her minimal symptoms she tended to stay cuddled up with Abigail on the couch, clinging to the girl like a koala. Tally had found them like that once, and Abigail had threatened her so severely that she’d never spoken of it again.

Evening now free, Raelle realised she should probably do her laundry and spend some time with her friends. Spending so many nights at Scylla’s meant she had barely seen Tally outside of work, and even though she lived with Abigail, most of their interactions these days involved silently manoeuvring about each other to get ready for work or sharing something one of them pulled out of the freezer. She was a bad friend, but to be fair to herself, her friends had had their share of distant intervals. When Tally met Gerit, Raelle rarely saw her outside of work for six months, and Abigail had cancelled many a plan to hook up with someone she was never planning to see again.

Shooting a text into the group chat, Raelle started the laundry she’d been putting off, but her brain kept wandering back to Scylla feeling crappy and all alone the whole time. Rationally, she knew Scylla was isolated by choice, Byron would be at her door in an instant if she so much as suggested she wanted company. That didn’t make her feel any better though. Unforeseen side effect number two of seeing Scylla outside of work was that Scylla seemed more and more human. The more Raelle thought about it, the less she could remember what caused their rivalry, and at this stage their arguments were starting feel to more like habits to Raelle than actual arguments.

Knowing Scylla would skin her alive if she tried to do anything after being told to leave the girl alone, Raelle’s only option was to try to make her feel better at work the next day. Short on options, she went with the most basic thing she could think of. Scylla had the sweetest tooth of anyone she’d ever met. She’d seen the woman eat cake for breakfast more times than she thought could be healthy and knew for a fact that the locked drawer in her desk was full of vegan chocolate. She’d acquired that information during their two month prank war, when she tried to steal whatever Scylla kept so well guarded in her desk, only to find what must have been 100 bars tightly packed, organised by type. She thought Scylla was going to cry when she’d opened it and found it empty that same day, and in the end had left them all back later when the brunette went to the bathroom.

She needed information though, and Byron was never going to keep his mouth shut if Raelle started asking about his best friend’s comfort foods. Biting the bullet, she called the only candidate that both knew Scylla well enough and could keep their mouth shut.

Porter answered on the second ring, “Hey Rae, What’s up?”

“Ramshorn and I got in a fight.” She might trust Porter not to squeal on her, but there was no chance she was admitting to him that she wanted to make Scylla feel better.

“And you’re calling me about something that happens daily because?” He made a fair point.

“I might have taken things too far. I need apology food, figured you’d know her favourites?”

“And you didn’t call Byron about this because..?” Raelle was starting to think Porter might not have been the best choice after all.

“Porter, I love your boyfriend, but he’s a gossip.” Well, honestly is the best policy, right? Ignoring the other lies she’d already told the man.

“Yeah that checks out.”

Happy with her new info, Raelle could finally put Scylla out of her head. The girls had settled on a movie night, and since Tally refused to watch anything remotely scary and both Abigail and Raelle found Rom-coms sickening, they ended up watching some dumb comedy. It was a good thing that the movie didn’t require much concentration, because fifteen minutes in Tally shared a pointed look with Abigail, who then opened her mouth in what was evidently an attempt to be casual, “So Shitbird, want to tell us why you’ve been MIA the last few weeks?”

“What do you mean?” Nonchalance was not her forte.

“She just means that we haven’t seen you that much lately. And well, usually your routine’s pretty consistent.”

“You’re boring Raelle.” Okay, so Abigail wasn’t holding back. “You go to work, you run, you go to game night, you call your dad once a week and you volunteer on Saturday mornings. You go to sleep at like 10 pm! Other than a couple one-night stands here and there, you’ve had the same schedule for years. And now all of a sudden you’re out more nights than you’re in. Who is she?”

“You’re being dramatic.” They were not being dramatic. Raelle was a takeout and couch person, didn’t understand people who were out all the time when they could be in PJs, “And I change things up sometimes!”

“Please tell me it’s not Lucy again.”

“I thought you liked Lucy, Tal?” Tally looked guilty but didn’t say anything more.

“No one except you liked Lucy. Don’t change the topic.”

Sighing in defeat, Raelle started to wonder how many lies she was going to end up telling before the night was over.

“You don’t know them. And it’s just a casual thing. So please,” She looked directly at Tally as she finished, “don’t go getting any ideas.”

“Hate to break this to you Shitbird, but coming home after midnight 4 nights a week isn’t casual.”

“Trust me, it’s just sex.”

Abigail raised an eyebrow at her, “Better be good if you’re losing that much sleep.”

A smile crept up on her face, “Yeah, it’s pretty fuckin’ good. Can we get back to the movie now?”

She breathed a sigh of relief as the two turned back to the TV, guilty over the half-truths she’d told.

* * *

When Scylla got to her desk on Monday morning, ten minutes late and cranky, she did a double take at the box sitting there. The “Feel Better” written on the note next to it was clearly Raelle’s scribble, she was the only person Scylla knew with such ridiculously illegible handwriting, but when she glanced over in the girl’s direction she wasn’t even in the precinct. Confused and a little wary, she lifted the lid to find slices of her three favourite cakes from a hole in the wall vegan bakery. A bakery in a completely different borough.

Pulling out her phone, she messaged the other woman.

Scylla: Is it a weird sex thing I don’t know about? Or is cake something we do now? (0914)

Raelle: Explain how that would be a sex thing. Like please (0920)

Scylla: Are they poisoned? (0921)

Raelle: No? I have so many easier ways of killing you Ramshorn (0921)

She didn’t bother replying, just flopped into her chair and started eating with a smile on her face. Even if technically it probably broke some of their boundaries, who was she to say no to cake?

It was the first day in months that anyone in the squad could remember getting through without some form of ruckus from the two women.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what I said, but I had more time than I thought to work ahead today, so here you go

Another two weeks passed, and Scylla had gotten used to blunt texts from Raelle asking if she could come over (and to sending blunt messages of her own). When one came through early Sunday morning, the only thing she thought weird was the early hour. When Raelle arrived at her door twenty minutes later, she realised immediately that she’d been wrong.

“Hey.”

Raelle was tense. And not, ‘oh I got in an argument’ tense which always came with anger and frustration. Not ‘I’m uncomfortable and ready to flee’ tense. Tense in a controlled way. Tense in a fidgety, ‘I don’t know what to do with myself, but I need to keep pretending everything’s fine’ way. She made no move to enter, so Scylla pulled her into the apartment by her forearm and debated if she should try talking to her or let herself be the distraction Raelle clearly wanted.

Raelle didn’t give her the option of asking any questions, kissing her as soon as she opened her mouth to ask if she was okay. Deciding that Raelle probably didn’t want her prying, she let it go and leant into her. The blonde’s touch was more rushed than usual, her mouth greedy and impatient as she moved Scylla towards her bedroom.

As they reached the bed, Scylla could feel hands playing with the edge of her jumper and drew back to pull it over her head. She tried to pause and check on the other woman, but Raelle quickly leaned back in, urging Scylla onto the bed and following her. Trying to ignore the niggling in her gut saying she should stop, Scylla ran a hand over Raelle’s braids, wanting to enjoy the demanding mouth moving from her lips to wander her jawline, but was interrupted by the feeling of a drop falling onto her skin.

“Raelle?” The lips just moved lower, ignoring the question in her voice.

Taking her other hand from where it had been wrapped around Raelle’s middle to push gently at her shoulder, Scylla softly tried again, “Raelle, you’re crying.” 

This time, Raelle released a quiet, “Fuck.”, and rolled over to sit facing away from her. Unsure of what to do, Scylla watched for a moment as the blonde pushed the heels of her palms into her eyes, and then reached a hesitant arm out to rest on her shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Without moving her hands from her face Raelle shook her head.

Scylla was bad with other people’s emotions. You would think after losing her parents she would be good at handling other people’s pain, but she always felt useless. Some pain just couldn’t be assuaged, and she didn’t like forcing herself into other people’s hurt. Knowing sitting watching her probably wasn’t doing Raelle any favours, and not having a clue what else to do, the brunette tiptoed to the kitchen to make tea. Waiting for the water to boil, she considered texting Byron to see if he had any idea what was up with Raelle, but that involved both telling him that they were with each other and possibly violating the girl’s privacy.

Sighing, she poured the tea and gently padded back into her room, sitting down closer to the crying girl, but still facing her back. Extending her empty arm back to place a hand at Raelle’s shoulder, she quietly said, “Hey. I made some tea if you want it. I know you prefer coffee, but it might help?” She hated this. This was why she kept as few people in her circle as possible, she wasn’t equipped for helping anyone in pain but Byron, and even with him it was excruciating.

Moving her hands from her face, Raelle focused on the mug the entire time she reached for it and kept her eyes fixed on it as she turns to sit cross-legged and rest it in her lap. Scylla shifted to mirror her, hands still as possible on her legs.

“Sorry. God, I’m a mess.”

“It’s fine.” She was overly conscious of keeping her tone light, trying to joke her way out of the awkwardness, “I’ve dealt with a lot worse than a pretty girl crying in my bed.” Raelle laughed lightly. Good.

“So blasé. Have a lot of people crying in your bed?” A shaky smile appeared as she said it, tear stains shimmering on her cheeks.

“What is it you think I’m doing to people in my bed?”

“Oh please, you cannot tell me there hasn’t been a trail of broken-hearts left behind you." A sniffle, "It’s those eyes. “

“Careful Collar. That sounded suspiciously like a compliment. It came after the suggestion that I’m always the heartbreaker, but a compliment all the same.”

Raelle took a sip of her tea in lieu of replying. The two sat in silence, Scylla taking in the woman who now sat with her eyes closed, scanning the delicate jawline and the scar along the side of her mouth. Raelle opened her eyes at the same time as her mouth, staring at the cup in her lap again.

“It’s my mama’s birthday.”

“Oh.” Scylla didn’t know anything about Raelle’s mother except that she’d died at some point during their time at the Academy, but she’d seen the look that crossed her face anytime she came up in conversation.

“It’s stupid. It’s been years, I feel like I should be over this by now.”

“Does losing a parent ever really go away? I’m definitely not over it yet. Let yourself wallow Collar, and then get back up tomorrow.”

The room stayed silent for a while, but the awkwardness didn’t return. Scylla was stuck again, not knowing what to do, but then Raelle spoke up, “She was the whole reason I went to the Academy you know.”

“Oh, so I have her to blame?”

Smiling as she answered, Raelle’s body released a little of the tension that had lingered from the moment she arrived at the door, “Yeah, I wanted to be just like her when I was little. But then I grew up, and it felt like I’d always have to feel shit about who I was if I stayed at home, not ‘cause of my parents, but everyone else. So I left, decided I’d be just like my mama, but here instead.”

She took another drink of her tea, her throat scratchy, “A month after I started at the Academy, I got a call from pops. There was a school shooting. Mama got caught up in it. The town did a whole memorial thing, but I couldn’t really process anything. I was a mess for a month or so, before Alder called me in and tore through me.”

Scylla swallowed uncomfortably at the mention of their old chief of training. Pushing those thoughts to the back of her head for the sake of not making Raelle feel worse, she scoffed, “What a bitch. I remember that though. You were always drunk or high or both, didn’t know why until now.”

“Oh she’s definitely a bitch, but she said some crap about how mama wouldn’t want me to waste away, so I guess it worked.”

She lifted the cup back to her mouth, but it was empty.

“God, that phone call was awful. I was in the cafeteria when I picked it up. Can’t remember anything between answering it and getting home. I was in such a rush I probably bulldozed my way through a bunch of people.”

She had. But Scylla wasn’t going to bring that up now.

“They probably deserved it.” Raelle looked up from her lap and met Scylla’s eyes, both wearing sad smiles.

Pointing at the cup in her hand, Scylla asked, “Do you want some more?”

“No, I should um… I should probably head home. Abigail will worry I’m out doing self-destructive things.” Her smile brightened as she talked about her friend, despite the eye roll that accompanied the latter half of the statement.

“Well, if she knew where you’d come this morning, she would probably classify it as self-destructive. So, she’s not completely wrong.”

Grinning, the blonde laughed again, “True.”

When the pair stopped in front of the door, neither was sure what the appropriate goodbye was. Half the time, Scylla never even got out of bed as Raelle left, and the rest of the time she busied herself with something meaningless and threw her goodbyes over her shoulder.

If it was anyone else who had just cried in her home, Scylla would have hugged them. But this was Raelle, and it would most definitely be more awkward than anything that had already happened today. She settled on brushing her hand over the woman’s upper arm and saying she’d she her tomorrow, and Raelle smiled before slipping through the door and down the stairs.

* * *

The next morning before going to work, Scylla stops by the place Raelle gets her coffee every day at lunch, having tampered with enough cups of her coffee to know where it comes from. If Raelle can get her cake and have it not be weird, Scylla could get her coffee. It was nothing, just a pick me up. After interrogating a poor barista about the blonde’s order, she walked into the bullpen five minutes before the time Abigail marched Raelle in every morning.

Anacostia raised an eyebrow from her office when Scylla bent over Raelle’s desk, but apparently wasn’t worried enough to do anything more. Halfway through writing ‘Hope you got back up today’ on the to-go cup, Scylla second guessed herself. _Is this crossing a line?_

She decided it would be fine and hurried to her own desk before anyone else arrived. Telling herself to calm down, she opened the case file she’d been stumped on for a week, hoping something new would jump out at her.

She could tell it was Abigail and Raelle walking into the room without looking up and had to use all her self-control not to watch them as soon as she heard them. She glanced up from the corner of her eye as Raelle got to her desk and faltered. Raelle picked up the to-go cup, and after reading it’s side, tilled it in Scylla’s direction with a soft smile.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know who I was kidding, this is my new go to form of procrastination

Raelle sighed, dropping her head to check the time. 2138. Accepting that she wasn’t going to get anywhere tonight, she started to pack it in and head home. Making sure she’d grabbed everything so she wouldn’t end up having to come back to the precinct, Raelle does a once over and reads through her messages. Two from Abigail about dinner, the second telling her she was too late and Bells had already eaten, three memes from Tally, and one message from Scylla. She debates for all of two seconds and then replies.

Scylla: wanna come over??? (2026)  
Raelle: have I missed the use by date on this? (2141)  
Scylla: nah (2141)  
Scylla: does that mean yes? (2142)  
Raelle: I’ll be there in 15 (2142)

Having skipped dinner, Raelle’s stomach thought it was the perfect time to rumble just as Scylla opened the door. The brunette raised an eyebrow at the sound and asked, “Working late?”

Walking through the door, Raelle sighed, “Yeah. I’m getting nowhere on the Millar case.”

“Want a fresh pair of eyes?”

Raelle scoffs, “No chance. We’re seven for seven this week Ramshorn, I’m not gonna let you swoop in and steal my case.”

“Sounds like an admission that I’m better than you.”

“Not according to our Academy rankings.” The smile that had been creeping onto Scylla face dropped instantly.

“That was a fluke. And years ago. I’m up on arrests over the year.”

Realising she’d started something she really didn’t want to escalate, Raelle said, “I’m too tired for an argument Ramshorn, can we just let it go?”

“Fine, but I would’ve won.”

“Whatever you say.” The sarcasm didn’t quite land where she wanted it too, her stomach grumbling again as she finished speaking.

“There’s left over pizza if you want it?” She gestured to the box on the kitchen counter, but Raelle shook her head.

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

Scylla sent her a pointed look, “If you think you’ve seen me angry, you don’t want to see what happens if you get me worked up and pass out from hunger before you can get the job done.”

“Pizza sounds great.” When she opened the box on the counter, she let out another scoff, “Pineapple Ramshorn? Really?”

“It’s also vegan.” That stupid fucking grin was back.

“Has this entire month been a longwinded way to get me to eat this. Because this is worse than anything you’ve ever done to me.”

Rolling her eyes, Scylla picks the pineapple off all the remaining slices and starts eating it herself, “Happy now?”

“Oh yeah, vegan pizza you’ve stuck your fingers all over really hits the spot.”

“Grumpy much? And last time I checked, you were pretty fond of these fingers, so quit complaining.”

* * *

Raelle was considerably less grumpy as she lay panting beside Scylla, body beautifully limp post orgasm. This was when Scylla was her most tolerable, for once too content to find something negative to say and too blissed out to catch Raelle’s eyes on her. She looked like a goddess in moments like this, hair mussed, lips just slightly apart in a gentle smile, sheets loose at her waist.

Every time Raelle saw the image, she found herself struggling to equate this Scylla with the one that kept herself so closed off, the one that couldn’t look at her without saying something snarky. She’d spent more time in the last month trying to figure out why they’d started fighting in the first place than she had in all the years since they’d met, and still she couldn’t pinpoint it.

As if that wasn’t frustrating enough, the more time she spent around the brunette, the more that infuriating arrogance seemed like a defence mechanism instead of actual hubris. Raelle just couldn’t gauge what she was so adamant about defending herself against.

Finally catching her gaze, Scylla questions her, “Why are you staring at me?”

“Why don’t you like me?” Raelle was 100 per cent certain she would not have asked that if she’d gotten more sleep this week, but it was too late to take it back now.

Scylla’s eyebrows furrowed at the unexpected topic, “What?”

“I’ve never been able to figure out why you don’t like me. It can’t just be that I got top of the class, but I can’t think of anything else.”

Sitting up and pulling the sheet over herself, as if Raelle hadn’t memorised all of her yet anyway, Scylla’s face hardened, “Are you serious?”

Trying to hold back her fury, Scylla watched as Raelle froze up and nodded.

“The fucking rumour, Collar.”

Scylla rolled her eyes at the blonde’s supposed confusion, only staying where she was because this was her home. She couldn’t exactly storm out and leave Raelle here.

“What are you talking about?”

“That Alder rumour.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

Scoffing, Scylla struggled to keep from raising her voice, “Everyone knows you started it Collar! You don’t have to play dumb.” She turned to reach for the t-shirt on the floor next to the bed and pulled it on, but before she could stand up she felt a hand grab her wrist. She jerked out of the grasp before she could think about it.

Raelle’s voice was low and gentle as she said, “Ramshorn, that wasn’t me. I swear.”

Scylla looked over her shoulder and met blue eyes, searching for a lie that wasn’t there. At this stage, Scylla didn’t know what she wanted to believe. Was it better if Raelle was lying and she’d been justified in her hatred, or that Raelle was telling the truth and she’d wasted years filled with resentment?

“I mean I heard it yeah, but I didn’t believe it. And I definitely didn’t start it.”

“I can’t tell if you’re lying or not.” This itself was a lie. Scylla had seen Raelle lie, but her face was honest from where she sat one arm propping her up.

“I don’t know why everyone thinks it was me, but why would I even do that?”

Sighing, Scylla turned around to sit facing the blonde, body curling in on herself. “I don’t know. Fuck. I can’t believe I’ve blamed you for that for so long and it wasn’t even you.””

“Long shot here, but does this mean you’re up for a truce? ‘Cause I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little tired of coming up with ways to get on your nerves.”

Smiling sadly, Scylla stuck out her hand for Raelle to shake, “Truce.”

They sat in silence for a minute before Raelle joked, “You really hated me that much over that one rumour?”

“I know how stupid it sounds, but honestly it was kind of the last thing I could take at the time. When I started at the Academy, I’d only just gotten over my parents. And everything still kind of sucked but it was the first time that I’d felt much of anything since they died. And you know those people you thought you might have bulldozed through? I was one of them.”

Raelle scrunched up her face, and muttered an, “I’m sorry.”

“Oh no, it was fine. Not to be rude, but you were clearly not okay. But then you disappeared for a week, and when you came back you were still a mess. And a week later, everybody was talking about how I was sleeping with Alder to boost my rankings, and every time I tried to trace it back, it came from you.” Scylla looked at her hands, still curled into herself.

“And that would’ve been fine, I mean I was a little annoyed that people were starting rumours like we were in high school or something, but I could’ve just forgotten about it if you hadn’t come up to me a few weeks later and asked if I wanted to study together. I was like, what kind of asshole has the audacity to tell everyone I’m sleeping my way to better scores and then turn around and ask me to study with them? But then I thought maybe you were trying to imply something and I just got even more annoyed and, I don’t know,” meeting Raelle’s eyes she sighed, “I was just so done by that stage that I made you public enemy number one. Didn’t help that you ended up beating me in the end.” _Or that I had a massive crush on you that made me feel like an idiot after everything I thought had happened._

Yawning and lying back down, Raelle said, “You do know that I was asking you out when I asked you to study?” Raelle really needed to go to sleep, who knew what she’d come out with next.

“And I responded by calling you a jackass. Perfect. You must’ve thought I was a psycho.”

“I still think you’re a psycho.” Her eyes fell shut, “But I probably would’ve felt the same in the circumstances. And it wasn’t like I tried hard to change your mind about the jackassery.”

“No, you did not.” Untangling her body from its curled-up position, Scylla murmured, “I need some water, you want anything?”

“Water sounds good.”

They didn’t usually talk much after, Raelle tended to leave not long after they finished. It felt strange. Not as strange as knowing she’d been wrong for years, but still, odd. Somehow more intimate than she was totally comfortable with. Clearing her head of all the rushing thoughts, Scylla walked back to her room, two glasses in hand.

Raelle was asleep.

Raelle was asleep, and snoring.

Raelle was asleep, and snoring, in her bed.

Feeling too bad to wake the woman and kick her out, Scylla decided to just swallow any feelings she had about the blonde staying the night and got back into bed. She didn’t know how to lie, overly conscious that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept beside someone who wasn’t Byron (who often ended up just crashing at hers after a catchup movie night). Even with her back to Raelle, Scylla was constantly aware of the other body, and tossed and turned for what felt like hours.

* * *

Raelle didn’t want to be pulled from sleep by Abigail pounding on her door, but deduction implied that that’s what was happening. Hoping it would stop if she ignored it, she snuggled further into the warmth in her arms, still clouded by sleep.

“Scyl, I know there’s no way you’re not here, wake the fuck up.” Stupid fucking noise.

The knocking did not stop as she had hoped.

“This is the only time I have all week to fix that damn tap, and you promised me food!”

Wait. That was Byron. How did Byron get into her apartment? Why was he talking about a stupid tap? Was her pillow breathing?

Jerking up, Raelle whispered “Fuck” as she realised where she was. Byron was in Scylla’s apartment because he had a spare key, and her pillow was breathing because it was actually a 5’2” dead to the world brunette that somehow still smelt faintly of cocoa, in nothing but an old worn t-shirt.

Pulling as far away from the body as gently as she could, lest she wake the woman, Raelle sat up, trying to figure out how she’d ended up in this situation.

The door opened without any notice and Byron’s voice carried through the room, “You better not be naked; I’ve been traumatised by you enough.”

Raelle made to duck under the covers, but Byron was in fact not an idiot, and Raelle was still sluggish from having just woken up.

Knowing she’d been caught, Raelle smiled as if this was a completely normal scenario for everyone involved and yelped, “Hey, Byron!” She kicked Scylla in the shin. Hard.

Finally rousing from her comatose state, Scylla grumbled, “Go away.” and rolled over, shoving her face into the pillow underneath her.

“No chance, you’ve got some explaining to do.” Shaking her shoulder to annoy her into conversation, Raelle laughed while Byron sang, “Get up and talk to me.”

“Fine! Go make me tea, we’ll be there in a minute.”

When Raelle and Byron simultaneously shouted, “We?”, one of them sounded elated and the other was clearly dismayed.

“Tea!”

Byron made a mischievous face at Raelle and turned for the kitchen. When both women had gotten dressed, they silently shuffled into the kitchen, mumbling a “Morning Porter” each. While Byron grinned at his boyfriend, clearly expecting a reaction, the man in question briefly looked up from his newspaper and said disinterestedly, “Hey guys.”

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” Byron was getting a lot less than he thought necessary given the circumstances.

“I saw Raelle grab Scyl’s ass at work two weeks ago.”

“AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO MENTION IT?” Outraged, Byron was outraged.

Porter shrugged and resumed reading, “Didn’t seem like my place.”

Feeling awkward standing through the current discussion, Raelle turned to the woman beside and whispered, “I uh, I need to get home or I’ll be late for work. See you there?”

“Coward.” A teasing smile came with the word, no malicious tone for once, “But, sure. See you later.”

Raelle didn’t bother interrupting the bickering men, she just headed for the door, eager to get out of the room. The brisk journey home was filled with thoughts of the night before. It was nice to finally have some answers, and even better to think that she wouldn’t have to keep antagonising Scylla every second she was near her.

* * *

It just had to be the one time she falls asleep that Byron came barging in at seven in the morning, but to be fair that could be a regular occurrence for all she knew. Thank whatever God was out there that Scylla slept like the dead. They might have called a truce, but there was no doubt in Raelle’s mind that Scylla would have freaked out if she’d woken up to Raelle clinging to her middle. Some part of was aware that she’d enjoyed it, but she was a cuddly person. Liking the warmth of a sleeping body didn’t mean anything. And the reason she couldn’t get enough of the cocoa smell that lingered wherever Scylla was, was clearly just that her brain had started assuming she would have sex in the near future if she smelt it.

Abigail was waiting when she got in, with a cup of coffee in her hand and a quirked eyebrow, “I’m not waiting on you if you’re late.”

Now that Byron knew, she felt even guiltier about keeping it from her friends. Maybe she should just tell them, what’s the worst that could happen? Later though, after she’d had time to figure out what had happened at Scylla’s after she left. If Byron was being annoying, maybe she wouldn’t tell Abigail and Tally after all.

Moving towards the bathroom to get a shower, she shouted back at Abigail, “I’ll be ready on time, calm down.”

“You ever going to introduce us to this mystery girl?”

She didn’t respond, just shut the door behind her and hoped the shower would empty her brain.


	9. Chapter 9

Hearing the door close behind her, Scylla waited for the onslaught she knew was coming.

Byron gave up on his bickering with Porter and rounded on her. They pair stared at each other for a solid minute before Byron surprised her and sighed in concern, “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“What?”

“Is this going to end with you getting hurt?”

“No. No I’m fine.”

He stared at her for another minute before smiling evilly and swapping to the line of questions Scylla had been expecting, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because of exactly how you reacted this morning.” Scylla started pottering about the kitchen, pulling granola and fruit out and answered Byron’s questions disinterestedly.

“Did it start before or after you got high on pain meds and giggled like a schoolgirl?” He was enjoying this too much.

“After. You get two more questions and then I’m getting ready for work and you can leave me alone.”

“Funny. I’m assuming it’s supposed to be casual?”

“I resent the use of the word supposed to be, but yes.”

“How’s the sex?”

“Aaaaand we’re done. Have a nice day Byron.” With that, she walked out of the room, shutting her bedroom door harder than was strictly necessary

* * *

When Scylla and Porter walked into the precinct together, she was impressed to see Raelle had made it there before them but suspected that it was purely because Abigail would die before letting Raelle make her late. She wasn’t sure if Raelle was waiting for her or actually getting coffee, but regardless, when she got within earshot she joked, “Nice shirt Collar.” It wasn’t as sharp as it would have been the morning before, but it wasn’t like she could go from 100 to 0 with the sassy comments, and if Raelle was going to button her shirt wrong it was fair game.

Raelle looked down confused, then sighed and said, “I was kinda in a rush this morning, someone tired me out last night.”

“Please, you were exhausted when you got to mine, don’t blame me.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” Raelle lifted her coffee to her lips and then scrunched her nose up when it was too hot for her tongue, “So, I thought in celebration of the new truce, you might want to come talk to witnesses with me? Fresh eyes and all that.”

Tilting her head to the side, Scylla felt that corners of her mouth turn up, “Sounds good. Give me five minutes and I’ll be good to go.”

When they weren’t busy biting each other’s heads off, it turned out that they made a good team. Scylla’s cautiousness tempered Raelle’s impulsiveness, Raelle’s friendliness made up for Scylla’s general iciness, and they ended up making some headway. Raelle hated to admit it, but she’d had fun.

On their way back to the precinct, Raelle brought up her thoughts from that morning, “So, what do you think about me maybe telling Tally and Abigail?”

“Telling them what?”

“About whatever this is.”

“I thought we weren’t telling people?”

“I know, but now that Byron and Porter know, I feel guilty about lying to them all the time.”

“I mean, if you hadn’t fallen asleep, they wouldn’t know.” So much for having fun. There was blame in Scylla’s voice, and Raelle couldn’t help feeling a little hurt. She stopped where she stood on the sidewalk, and Scylla walked on for a minute before realising and turning back around.

“You could’ve woken me up if you’re gonna be mad about it.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t want to be a dick!”

“Well you’re doing a shit job of it.” She marched on, Scylla frozen behind her. When she finally snapped out of her thoughts, Scylla rushed to catch up.

“I’m sorry.” They were side to side again, but Raelle made no sign of having heard her. “I didn’t mean to be dick, it’s just habit.”

“Great apology.”

“I am trying, Collar. I’m sorry that I insinuated it was your fault Byron found out.”

“Why are you so upset he knows anyway? It’s feels like you’re embarrassed or something.”

She was, but not in the way she knew the other woman was implying. “What? Raelle, no. I just...” Seeing the precinct coming into view, Scylla stopped moving and grabbed Raelle’s arm, “Look, can we get coffee or something before we go back?”

Without saying anything, Raelle does a 180 and starts heading in the direction of the closest coffee shop she knows, Scylla hot on her heels. Deciding that if Raelle can admit she wanted to ask her out in the past, then she can be honest as well, Scylla fumbles for the right words.

“Byron’s family. So, he teases me any chance he gets.”

Picking up her already brisk pace, the blonde shrugs, “What’s that got to do with anything?”

Starting to get sick of power walking, Scylla pleads, “Can you please just slow down?”

Raelle could see the familiar doors and picked up speed a little more. It was still too early in the day for a lunch rush and too late for a commuter rush, so it wasn’t nearly as busy as usual as Raelle pulled open the door.

When Scylla caught up to her at the counter, Raelle wasn’t expecting the words that came out of her mouth, “I had a crush on you. When we started at the Academy. Byron remembers it and brings it up as often as he can. And that was _before_ he found us this morning. I’m not embarrassed of you; I’m embarrassed of an old crush that is going to be lorded over my head for the foreseeable future.” Finally stopping to breath, Scylla takes in a couple deep breaths and then asks, “Can you please talk to me now?”

Raelle’s answer is cut off by the barista asking for her order, but the smile she sends Scylla calms the woman down. Less than 24 hours into their truce and she’s already struggling with not messing things up, how was this transition more difficult than their previous?

When Raelle moved on to wait for her order, the brunette heard the barista ask what she’d like. Looking up to meet her face, Scylla orders an iced oat latte and tries to ignore the overly large customer service smile the woman sends her way.

Raelle waited impatiently, watching the barista blink excessively and linger too long when she hands Scylla’s change back. She pushed down whatever was rearing in her gut, body tensing again after having just relaxed two minutes prior.

Scylla smiled at her as she approached the blonde, “We good?”

Forcing herself to reciprocate the woman’s light mood Raelle nodded, “Yeah, we’re good.” Glint in her eye, she prods, “Wanna tell me more about this massive crush you had?”

“Tiny, miniscule thing really. I can barely remember it.”

Flirty barista forgotten at the sight of a smirking cheerful Scylla, Raelle grinned, “I’ll just have to ask Byron, since your old lady memory’s failing ya.”

“You wouldn’t.” Scylla sighed and looked away from the blonde, “You should tell them. It’s not fair that you have to feel guilty about lying when my friends know.”

Grin still in place, Raelle replied, “I don’t know. Now that I know Byron’s teasing you about it, maybe I don’t want the girls to know.”

A different barista sat the two to-go cups on the countertop, and when she caught sight of the number written on the latte, Raelle’s face drops again. Voice flat, she ushered the two of them out of the doors, muttering a firm, “Let’s go.”

She needed to get over this jealousy thing. Scylla could call whoever she wanted, and Raelle really shouldn’t care.

* * *

When they got back to work, Raelle decided that biting the bullet was the best option, Abigail was going to be pissed regardless. She asked Tally and Abigail to meet her in the break room and closed the door tight behind them, God forbid the last few people who don’t know in the squad walk in and find out as well.

When she turned back around to face her friends, both wore expectant looks.

“So, I lied.”

“Real specific Rae, want to clarify or should we start guessing?” Abigail was already prickly, and she knew it was only about to get worse. The woman hated lies.

“I’ve been having sex with Ramshorn. I didn’t want you guys to make a big deal about it and we both agreed we wouldn’t tell anyone, but then Byron found out and I feel guilty about lying all the time, and I figured I should just tell you.”

“Oh.”

“You’ve been sleeping with the Wicked Witch of the West and you didn’t tell us?”

The blonde just nodded, afraid of triggering something worse if she opened her mouth.

“What the fuck Shitbird. You’ve been lying through your teeth for over a month and you think coming in here all apologetic is going to fix it?” The Bellweather scoffed and stormed out of the room, pulling out of her grasp as Raelle reaches for her.

“She just needs time, you know how she is.” Tally kept her voice soft, despite the hurt in her chest.

“And you?”

“I’m a little disappointed you lied to us, but if you want your privacy you should be allowed to have it. It’s also sort of difficult to be mad when I’m so happy I was right.”

“Don’t be so smug Tal, it’s just sex.”

“Oh, of course.” Tally did not like she’d believed her at all.

“It is!”

“So how’d that coffee get to your desk a few weeks ago?” Giving Raelle no chance to defend herself, Abigail stormed back into the room.

“For the record, I am still pissed. I just want more information.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“When did this start?”

Fuck, more lies. Little baby fibs really. Preparing for even more backlash, Raelle inhales and says, “That game night when everyone thought we’d made out, well it was a little bit more than would strictly count as making out? And then-“

“You’ve been lying to us four months!”

“No! Well, yes, but no as well? You made assumptions about it and I just didn’t correct you. And then nothing happened again until the game night when she asked me to stay behind to talk.”

“So you never text Lucy that night?”

“No, I did not.”

“Oh thank God.”

“Why did nobody tell me you all hated Lucy?” It was the first time since walking into the room that Raelle had been allowed to let out any of her pent-up emotions, so the words were spat with more anger than they really warranted.

“She made you less cranky, it seemed worth it to be honest.” Tally’s gentle voice made it impossible to be mad, so instead Raelle started laughing.

“Really though Shitbird, I’m torn between saying I told you so and pointing out the masochism in sleeping with someone who gives you crap every time you’re in her vicinity.”

“You don’t get to say ‘I told you so’. I’ve never said I wasn’t physically attracted to her. And we already knew I was a masochist; I willingly live with you.”

Shoving her on the shoulder, Abigail laughed, “You know you love me Shitbird.”

“Yeah, that’s also my masochism.” She cleared the joking grin from her lips and then said, “But I think we um, we kind of cleared the air.”

“You and Ramshorn?” Abigail’s words were a mixture of disbelief and excited playfulness, but Tally had started worrying her bottom lip in her teeth.

“Yeah. I mean I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but we aren’t actively trying to antagonise each other anymore.”

Smiling, Tally tightly cheered, “That’s great, Rae.”

“I am sorry I lied to you guys. But in my defence, this smugness is exactly what I thought would happen when you found out.”

Voice teasing, Tally declared, “We love you Rae, but you can kind of live in denial.”

“Yeah, yeah. We should probably get back to work now?”

Always ready to work, Abigail had already reached the door when Tally’s quiet warning came, “Just be careful Rae, it’ll be a lot harder to avoid feelings now that you don’t hate each other’s guts.”

“It’s fine Tal. I mean, it’s _Ramshorn.”_ She smiled back at the redhead and said, “I don’t have feelings for her, we’re all clear.”

“Good. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“Thanks Tal.”

The three walked out of the break room and Scylla caught Raelle’s eyes with a questioning gaze. The blonde nodded at the woman felt a flutter or _something_ at the charming smile she got in return.

Swallowing and heading for her desk, Raelle pushed it down. Nope, no feelings here at all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclosure, this is my favourite chapter

Scylla grumbled at having to pause her movie and stumbled about searching for the ringing phone. Without checking who it was, she answered with a disgruntled, “Hello?”

“Hey, can I come over?” Smiling a little at Raelle’s voice, Scylla flopped back onto the couch and pulled the blanket around her.

“I’m currently seven hours into the Lord of the Rings. There’s no chance I stop watching now, but I can make myself free afterwards?”

“Okay. Thing is, I’m on my way back from the shelter, and I can’t be bothered walking all the way home and back when yours is closer. Can I crash the marathon? I promise to not be a nuisance.”

She mulled is over, concerned about letting someone interrupt her rituals, but finally mumbled, “Yeah, of course. The door’s not locked so don’t bother knocking.”

“You should be locking your door Ramshorn.”

“Well, if something happens, you can tell me you told me so. See you soon.”

She debated getting out of her PJs before the other woman arrived but ended up deciding that was dumb and pressed play. Less than 10 minutes later, the blonde crept quietly into the apartment, slipped her shoes and jacket off, and slid onto the couch. That was where her quietness ended.

“Wait is the bad gut Sauron or Saruman? I’m confused.”

“Shh.”

“Why are the trees talking?”

“Shh.”

“Wait who’s that again?”

“What happened to not being a nuisance?”

Sheepish, Raelle stopped asking questions and started watching Scylla watch the screen, far more emotional than the movie warranted. When the credits started rolling, she asked the question she’d been wondering since Scylla hung up earlier, “So, wanna explain why you got up and started watching Lord of the Rings at 7 am?”

“They were my dad’s favourite movies.” Well that explained the filmed over eyes.

“Oh. So, is this a regular thing then?”

“It’s the 10-year anniversary.”

“Of the movie?”

Rolling her eyes, Scylla replied, “No dumbass, of their death. I watch them every year.”

Well, she’d fucked that up. At least Scylla didn’t seem angry.

“I’m an idiot.”

“A little, yeah.”

Raelle went back to watching the brunette instead of responding. Now that she knew something was wrong, it seemed obvious. Scylla’s eyes were dull and glassed over, her usually perfect posture was slumped, and she was less than usual in a way that was difficult to place. Normally the woman was intense, she took up a lot of space in the room regardless of what kind of mood she was in. Today she fell flat.

Raelle felt like she’d intruded on something, but if Scylla didn’t want her around, she would’ve said so gladly. The thought made her perk up a bit despite the sadness cast over the room. Not wanting to derail Scylla’s day any further, Raelle kept her words soft, “So what was your mom’s favourite movie?”

“What?” Complete confusion took over the brunette’s face, combined with the blanket she was clinging to and the clearly unbrushed hair, it was an adorable look.

“You can’t tell me you watch 9 hours of your dad’s favourite movies and then don’t watch your mom’s.”

Puffing out a laugh, Scylla admitted, “It’s Lilo and Stitch.”

Gently smiling at the other woman, Raelle commented, “Well that explains drugged up you watching it.”

“Yeah, she always put it on when I was off sick. Now I watch it when I feel crappy.”

Raelle grabbed the remote, turned to the TV and started searching for Lilo and Stitch, “Lilo and Stitch it is then.” Scylla’s eyes never left her as the blonde snuggled into the couch.

“But you came over for-“

She deadpanned, “Scylla, we can have sex whenever. Now be quiet and watch the movie.”

Scylla didn’t have any trouble being quiet, but it had less to do with the movie and more to do with the fact that she liked the way her name sounded on the blonde’s tongue.

More distracting than that was the realisation that she’d only ever heard Raelle say her first name during sex. Apparently, her brain associated the sound with a naked and needy Raelle, and was now conjuring up images that made concentrating on a children’s film difficult.

* * *

By the time the movie ended, Scylla eyes were starting to droop, but Raelle had no intention of letting her doze, “So, what’s next?”

“Hmm?”

“After the movies, what do you usually do?”

It felt weird letting someone see her like this. Byron always gave her the day, sending texts every few hours to check in as a compromise, but as much as she loved him, he didn’t get it. His parents were very much alive, very much adoring. Scylla had been 18 by the time her parents died, and Byron’s parents had welcomed her into their home with open arms. They were family. They were where she went at Christmas and New Years and birthdays, but they weren’t her parents. And as much as she didn’t want to be alone, she’d prefer to be alone than be with people who were trying to cheer her up or distract her. Raelle didn’t do any of that, she just let the brunette be sad.

“Well, usually I make mushroom risotto and then get drunk. It was their favourite.” She wasn’t sure when she started trusting the blonde enough to be this open with her, but evidently, she had.

“Do you have everything you need, or do you want me to run to the store?” Raelle knew Scylla would walk to the shop in her pyjamas, and then come back angry about some idiot who looked at her funny. It was best she made the trip.

“I have ingredients and beer, but no wine.”

“Cool. You start cooking, I’ll be quick.” Pausing as though the thought had just occurred to her, Raelle sputtered, “Unless, you’d prefer to do this alone?”

“No, that um, that sounds good.”

Raelle was in fact quick, and by the time she got back Scylla had put music on and was just finished fishing everything out of cupboards. She sat the wine on the counter and shyly announced, “So, confession. I can not cook to save my life. I can chop things and defrost things and that’s about it.”

“In that case, start pouring the wine.”

So she did, and when she’d finished pouring Scylla’s wine and grabbed a beer from the fridge, a chopping board was slid in front of her, “I am not taking you to hospital tonight if you cut a finger off, so don’t do it.”

“Yes ma’am.”

They manoeuvred around each other for a few minutes, the only sound the faint music in the background, until Raelle asked, “Are your parents the reason you’re such a nerd then?”

One corner of the brunette’s lips pulled up, “I’m not a nerd. But if I was, then yeah it’d be on them.”

“There are more books in here than a library. And not even fun ones, they’re like all academic crap.” It was true, Raelle had watched the woman pick up a biology textbook and start reading it like it was a novel once, “You’re a nerd.”

“Okay, so I’m a nerd. They used to take me to science museums, and I was so into it you’d have thought it was Disneyland.” The smile the statement pulled from the brunette was mesmerising, even if Raelle only caught a glimpse of it over her shoulder..

She could see it in her head. Tiny Scylla running around looking at dinosaurs and diagrams and grinning like a maniac. Her smile had probably always been mesmerising, even as a tot. She must’ve gotten away with everything.

“So, were they scientists or was it also a weird side interest for them?”

Turning from the stove to face Raelle, Scylla caught sight of the woman chopping and scolded, “Watch your fingers!”. When the blonde regripped the knife in her hand, she was glad to see that Scylla didn’t seem upset to be talking about her parents, “They were in forensics. It’s how they met.”

“That why you joined the force?”

“No, actually. I always wanted to go into human rights law.” She looked back at the pan and continued, “But then when they died, human rights law felt so removed from the situation. Logically I knew I could do more good with it, but at the time all I really wanted was someone to give me answers about what had happened.”

“Did you ever get any?” Raelle spoke cautiously, terrified to step on sore wounds after being trusted with what she was already getting.

“Not really. Mugging gone wrong. They never caught the guy.”

“Well that sucks.”

An easy silence covered the room until the food was ready, and while they ate Raelle asked the brunette more about her parents. Fun memories, nothing that had anything to do with their death. It felt nice. She hadn’t talked about them very much since their death, and any time she had it was normally the sad parts.

By the time they’d finished eating, Scylla was laughing and took up more space again. It wasn’t her usual permeating presence, but it was more like it than when Raelle had arrived and she was happy she’d been the one to do it. Given all of this, when Scylla’s eyes turned conflicted, Raelle’s heart sank. When she took a lager than healthy swigfrom her wine glass, the sinking got worse.

“I want to ask you something, but I don’t know how you’ll react.”

Anxious and fidgety, Raelle nodded, “Okay.”

“I know it’s not really what we do, but my high school reunion’s in a month.” Her words were spilling out so fast Raelle was struggling to follow, “And Byron’s adamant about going so that he can take Porter and brag about being all successful to his old bullies, but he doesn’t want to go unless I do. And I know he really wants to go, but I really don’t want to have to go alone because they were dicks to me as well and I don’t want them to think they’ve won, so would you maybe tag along? It’ll be like 2 hours max.”

Raelle was silent for a moment, trying to process the information, and Scylla’s eyes fell to her lap as she spoke again “I know it’s stupid and petty and I should be over high school by now, but they called me Annie all senior year. As in the orphan.”

Information finally processed, Raelle’s head snapped up at the end of Scylla’s sentence, “What the fuck!” And she though high school had been bad for her.

Realising the brunette thought her outburst was in relation to her request and not the cruelty of the nickname, Raelle rushed to say, “No! Not ‘what the fuck’ to goin’ with you, I’ll totally come with. I meant ‘What the fuck’ about the Annie thing.”

The upset look on Scylla’s face only partially disappeared, still unconvinced, “Are you sure? I know it’s a big ask, but I don’t want to disappoint Byron.”

“Of course. Me, you, Byron and Porter and a bunch of homophobes, it’ll be a blast!” She was sincere too, she couldn’t wait to get tipsy with her friends and make fun of bigots. “What’s the date?”

“January 4th. I didn’t even think, will you be back in town by then?”

“I haven’t booked anythin’ yet, it shouldn’t be a problem.” A smirk forming on her face, Raelle swapped topics, “So, when you said get drunk, how drunk are we talkin’?”

“No hangover, but adequately tipsy, drunk.”

“Perfect.”

* * *

Two hours later, the brunette was teetering the line between safety and being drunk enough for a hangover. Glancing at the clock on the wall, Scylla sighed and said, “It’s late. I should probably head to sleep before I regret it in the morning.”

“Of course. I’ll um, I’ll get out of your hair.” She hadn’t realised it had gotten so late. She probably should’ve text Abigail at some stage to explain the day long absence.

Scylla looked sheepish, as if she was contemplating saying something. In the end she must have decided to say it because what came out of her mouth was, “Or you could stay? If you want. You probably shouldn’t be walking around alone this late.”

“You say that like I haven’t been walking home alone this time of night for over a month.”

Her hands toyed with each other in her lap and Scylla looked down to them, “I don’t really want to be alone.” Her words were a little slurred, and Raelle was conscious of the fact that she herself had purposely not drank as much. She was conscious of the fact that Scylla was just drunk enough that she might regret asking in the morning. She was conscious of the fact that she wanted to stay regardless.

Scylla was still looking at her with hopeful eyes, less difficult to read in her alcohol induced state. Sighing and knowing she might regret it tomorrow, Raelle breathed, “It is a pretty long walk.”

She pulled herself up from her seat on the floor and missed the drunken smile on Scylla’s face, already heading to the kitchen to get two pints of water, “I’m gonna text Bells so she doesn’t worry, I’ll be in in a minute.”

“Cool.”

When Raelle walked into Scylla’s room, the brunette was exiting the bathroom, “I don’t have any spare toothbrushes, but there’s mouthwash. And I left spare pyjamas on the bed if you want them.”

“Thanks.” It felt weird. Knowingly getting ready to sleep at Scylla’s, as though that was normal. Especially after the already intense day. The last time had been an accident, and there’d been no awkward shuffling around one another to get ready.

By the time Raelle came back out of the bathroom, Scylla was curled up on the right side of the bed, limbs pulled in on herself. She looked so fragile, like she needed to cling to herself or she’d fall apart. Raelle sighed to herself and tugged on the loose-fitting pyjama shirt, forgoing the trousers in favour of just her boxers. Not like Scylla had any problems with her legs being out.

After flicking off the light she crawled into the far side of the bed and tried to switch her brain off as well, to no avail. Staring at Scylla’s back, the brunette’s breath already evening out, Raelle realised she’d messed up.

She liked her. It seemed so obvious, lying there in her clothes, in her bed, aching to reach out. She’d like to be able to say that it came out of nowhere, but that wasn’t true. It was astounding she’d ignored it for this long.

There was no anger or resentment or hatred left at the thought of the woman, all she had now was warmth, and comfort and a constant desire to see her. She was so screwed.

She tossed for hours, sleep evading her as she thought about the body beside her. When the body in question rolled over, sleeping face now barely a foot from her, Raelle gave up on chasing sleep and just let her eyes wander over her face, creepy as it probably was.

Eventually, she succumbed to sleep, lulled by the sound of even breath and the comforting smell of the borrowed shirt.


	11. Chapter 11

The first thing Scylla noticed when she woke was that she was hangover free. The second thing she noticed was the weight on her chest and the hand clinging to her shirt. Opening her eyes, she took in the room. When they focused, she looked down to her chest, already knowing what she’d find; a sleeping Raelle trapped in Scylla’s grip. She felt a blush rise on her cheeks and pretended she hadn’t. Disentangling herself from the blonde as delicately as she could, she cursed her sleepy self for cuddling up to the woman. At least she’d woken up first.

She walked to the bathroom like a zombie and brushed her teeth, threw some water at her face and got back into bed, leaving a foot of space between her and Raelle. Picking up a book from her bedside and her glasses, she tried to distract herself from memories of the day before and from the peaceful blonde beside her. It didn’t work, she kept catching her eyes on messy blonde hair and braids that were falling out.

Raelle had been kind the day before, far kinder than she needed to be. She could’ve left at any stage and no one would have thought it wrong, but she’d decided to stay. Decided to let Scylla cry and talk and the entire time she’d stayed. Sat there listening, not uncomfortable in the grief. But that was just how Raelle was, she cared about people too much.

And then she’d agreed to the reunion, which even now Scylla felt unsure of. It felt like she had guilted the southern girl into it.

When the blonde’s eyes flickered open, Scylla didn’t even bother pretending she hadn’t been looking at her. Raelle rubbed sleep from her eyes and looked back at Scylla, mumbling a croaky, “Morning.”

Placing the book back on the bedside, Scylla lay back down facing her, “Thank you. For yesterday, and for staying.”

Raelle met Scylla’s eyes and whispered, “It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Feeling too exposed from the eye contact and the sleepiness, Scylla smirked, “Oh, and here I thought you deserved a reward. But if it’s nothing, then I guess I’ll just go boil the kettle.” She turned as if to get out of bed but felt one of Raelle’s hands grab her shoulder. Lying back down she heard the blonde speaking, much less sleep-addled than before.

“No! It wasn’t nothing, it was so much work.” Leaning over the brunette from her spot beside her, she whispered, “So high maintenance.”

Strong hands pulled Raelle’s face down until their lips met, slow and lazy. A warm hand skimmed under Scylla’s shirt, the other playing with brown hair as Raelle’s forearm held her supported on her side. Their kissing became messy and their breathing heavy, so Scylla traced a path to Raelle’s ear and tugged at the waistband of her boxers, rasping, “Get rid of these and get on my face.”

The moan that fell from Raelle’s lip was far beyond her control, and the woman scrambled to do as she’d been told, already dripping wet. She hovered just above Scylla’s mouth, the girl below her holding her there with firm hands on her hips, littering playful bites all over the tops of her thighs.

When a whiny, “Scylla” fell past her lips, Raelle felt the brunette’s breath hot against her as she chuckled, before Scylla moved her mouth to suck over the birthmark on the part of her left thigh closest to her cunt.

Deciding she’d waited long enough, Scylla used the hands that had been holding Raelle just above her, to pull her down against the flat of her tongue. Raelle reached for the headboard as Scylla started to lap slowly and dragged her hands to grab Raelle’s ass. Somehow, the brunette managed to keep her movements slow and precise despite how worked up the whimpers coming from the woman on top of her were making her.

Raelle couldn’t concentrate on anything except how close she was already, her hips rolling against Scylla with desperation, needy moans spilling over her lips. On the next brush of Scylla’s tongue against her clit, she felt everything tighten one last bit before her body crashed over the edge.

Despite the fact that she was practically being suffocated, Scylla didn’t let up in her ministrations until Raelle’s breathing calmed and her hips stilled over her. Even then, when the hand Raelle hadn’t even noticed she’d tangled in the brown hair fell away, Scylla’s tongue didn’t stop moving over her, cleaning up the mess she’d made.

When she finally did stop, she made no effort to push Raelle away from where she hovered, but placed a delicate kiss over the darkening skin on Raelle’s birthmark.

Raelle pulled back gently, mentally spiralling at the gesture, for once completely overwhelmed emotionally instead of physically. From where she lay, she swallowed her thoughts and smiled cheekily, “Pretty good reward.”

“Pretty good?”

“Pretty great.”

“Better.”

Scylla moved to get out of bed again, and Raelle mumbled, “Where you goin’?”

“To shower.” She pulled off her shirt as she said it, muffling the words.

“But I haven’t even touched you yet?”

Smiling and naked from the waist up, Scylla giggled, “It was a reward Raelle, don’t worry about it.”

Frowning, Raelle tried again, “But I-“

“Unless, you want to join me?”

Raelle knew she was being dumb, and that getting in that shower wouldn’t help her figure out her shit in the slightest, but she was happy to be an idiot.

* * *

Barging through the door, not caring about how much noise she made, Raelle shouted, “Bells, call Tal and tell her to come over!”

Poking her head out of her bedroom door, Abigail rolled her eyes and said, “First off, why can’t you call her yourself? And second, what happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it twice and I don’t want to answer a billion questions before Tal even agrees to get here, just call her. Please?”

Watching the shorter woman walk towards her room, only slightly less messily than she had entered the apartment, Abigail sighed and grabbed her phone.

When she walked out of her bedroom after her second shower of the morning, Raelle was relieved to see that Tally was already standing in the kitchen drinking tea with Abigail. The redhead passed her a cup of coffee as she entered, concern evident on her face.

“Hey, Abi said you needed to talk?”

Leaning her weight sideways against the counter, she let the question hang in the air for as long as she could before she confessed, “I think I have feelings for Scylla.”

“Didn’t we just talk about this like a week ago?” The words came from where Abigail sat at the table, and even though they sounded unimpressed, Raelle knew it was just Abigail being Abigail.

After sending a scolding look at the seated girl, Tally prodded softly, “What changed?”

“I don’t know.” She really didn’t, “Last week she was just Ramshorn. And she still is, but now that we’re not fighting every two minutes, instead of noticing all the things that piss me off I keep noticing everything I like. And apparently there’s lot of stuff I like.”

“Do you think she feels the same?”

“Are you crazy? Tal, she only just started tolerating me. Like last week.”

Sighing again, Raelle gripped the cup in her hands more tightly, “Maybe it’s just the sex getting to my brain.” Breathing in slowly, Raelle raised the cup to her lips before rambling, “Or maybe it’s that she’s really smart, and she watches kids’ movies when she’s sad, or it’s that adorable grin she gets when she’s right, and last week when I got to her place she was on the phone with a vet because she’d found an injured pigeon and decided to take it in and pay the bill instead of letting it die like any rational person would!”

It was all of those things. Raelle wanted to watch her read big books in her glasses. She wanted to sit wrapped in blankets and watch Lilo and Stitch a million times. She wanted to let the brunette win arguments just to see the happiness on her face. She wanted lazy Sunday mornings in bed and she wanted to be able to hold her when she was upset about her parents.

“I’m still not over the fact you lied about sleeping with her, never mind this.”

Tally’s face tightened as she glared at the woman, “Abigail.”

“I’m so fucked.” Tally brought the short woman into her arms, letting her bury her head into the crook of her neck and just breath for a little while.

“Look Shitbird, the way I see it, either you tell her, and things change for better or worse, or you end things before this whole situation gets worse.”

The “I don’t wanna” was muffled by Tally’s body, but the girls were very aware of the message.

“If you don’t get over it or stop sleeping with her, it’s not just going to magically vanish Rae.”

The hand Tally ran up and down her back didn’t make the situation any better, but Raelle was glad of the gesture. “I’m so stupid. How did I let this happen? I mean we literally talked about this exact situation.”

Ignoring the redundant question, Tally softly asked, “Do you want to go with me or Abs first?”

“Abigail. I need to get rid of some energy. Are you free tonight?”

Tally pulled back slowly, a sympathetic smile on her face, “Yeah, I’m free all day so just come over whenever.”

“You’re going to get your ass kicked Shitbird, you’ve been ditching me the past few weeks.”

“We’ll see.”

Abigail waited for the blonde to close her bedroom door in search of her gym bag before immediately asking, “So where does this land in the pool? Because Porter was winning with the casual sex, but no one bet on unrequited feelings, and Anacostia thought something would start and then they’d blow up.”

“You’re a terrible friend.”

“Wait, what was your bet?”

“This exact situation.”

“Now who’s a bad friend.”

* * *

The trio had a well-balanced plan for any Raelle related heartbreak; Abigail sparred with her until she worked out all the frustrated energy and Tally made her talk about her feelings. It was a tried and tested system.

The sparring was not working. Raelle kept getting distracted and Abigail had punched her in the head a more that healthy amount.

“Concentrate Shitbird.”

“I’m trying Bellweather.”

“Why don’t you just start dating again. You can’t honestly think you can keep going how you are and get over it.”

“We’re finally not ready to kill each other Bells, I don’t want to fuck that up.”

“How is you liking her not going to fuck it up more than you breaking things off? Bury it, start fresh.”

“I don’t even know how to date anymore.”

“That’s because you never leave the apartment.”

Abigail caught her with a hook, and Raelle called a time out to get some water.

“What about that girl from the shelter that you said was giving you vibes?”

“I dunno. It might get weird, and then I’d have to swap shifts and Saturday morning is the only time that works for me right now.”

“How can things go worse with that situation than your current one?”

Sighing, the blonde conceded, “Fair point.”

* * *

Tally’s method was helping a little more than Abigail’s. It was nice to let herself wallow, especially since the previous day had been so emotionally draining. She didn’t regret being there, but it took a lot of energy and she really just needed to vent. It was also nice to be able to talk about Scylla without being worried about someone poking fun at her.

After ranting about Scylla, Raelle brought up what had been in the back of her mind since earlier that day, “Abigail thinks I should start dating.”

“Oh. Do you want to start dating?”

“I dunno. It might help me get over this whole thing.”

“Is that really fair on anyone you end up seeing?”

“Probably not. But I have to do something Tal.”

“Well, have you decided if you’re going to end things with her yet?”

“I know I should. Doesn’t mean I will.”

“Rae.”

“I know, okay. I’ll figure it out.”

“Want to watch compilations of people falling over?”

The blonde hugged the woman at the suggestion and nodded, “Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this time I'll probably stick to the every other day thing because I'm not feeling well, but hopefully I'll be back on time!  
> On another note, I really hate writing smut so if you can tell I rushed my way through it, I'm sorry


	12. Chapter 12

Raelle was avoiding her.

She’d come over again Tuesday, but she’d been distant, and the brunette hadn’t seen her since. Even at work, Raelle was no-where to be seen, always out on the streets. By Friday morning Scylla had taken to arriving 20 minutes before the blonde usually showed up and leaving after she finished for the day, but the few times Raelle had been in the bullpen she’d been conveniently occupied with Abigail or Tally or Anacostia. The only time Scylla had almost caught her alone this week was Wednesday, before she’d realised there was a problem. But Raelle had roped Glory into a stupid conversation about the weather and then darted out the door. She’d even claimed sickness and bailed on game night.

Scylla sat on her couch, glass of wine in hand, and tried to figure out what had happened instead of paying attention to whatever was on the screen in front of her. The only thing that had been strange on Tuesday was the blonde, so it must’ve been Saturday or Sunday. Maybe asking her to stay the night had been too much. Maybe Scylla’s grief made her uncomfortable. But that didn’t seem like Raelle.

She felt guilty. If Raelle was being off, clearly Scylla had done something to push her away. She searched and searched and ended up deciding it must be about the reunion. That was fine, she could just tell the blonde to forget about it. If the blonde ever replied to her that is. The reunion would suck if she went solo, but not as much as this radio silence.

She didn’t know what to do with herself. Raelle being around had become her new normal, and three days without her was apparently enough to sour the brunette’s mood. Sighing, she picked up her phone to call Byron.

She spoke as soon as he answered, wanting to get out of the apartment that reminded her so much of Raelle, “Can I come over? I need to talk.”

“Funny you should ask. I’m walking up your stairs, I’ll be at your door in a second.” He hung up.

Curious as to why Byron was on his way, Scylla dragged herself off the couch and opened her door. Byron was out of breath, which was bizarre.

“Why are you so out of breath?”

“I jogged here. And you have a lot of stairs.”

“Any particular reason why?”

“I’ll get there. I need to breath like a normal human first.”

“Want some wine?”

“No, but you might need a bigger glass.”

“Okay? Give me a minute.”

“Wait.” Finally breathing like normal, Byron said, “Before I start, what did you want to talk about?”

Putting the cap back on the bottle, Scylla’s words were punctuated with a hint of anger, “Raelle’s avoiding me.”

Byron froze before tripping over his words, “I came here to tell you that she’s on a date.”

Scylla’s hand stopped mid-air as she raised her glass to her lips. “Oh.”

“Any thoughts on that?”

“No.” She drank her wine and avoided his eyes.

“Okay, sit your ass down.”

“Do we have to?” She was aware that she sounded like a petulant child, but she did not care.

“Yes.”

When they settled on the sofa, he spoke again, “Why is she avoiding you?”

“I don’t know. It might be because I asked her to come to the reunion with me.”

“Wait, what? When did that happen?”

“Saturday.”

“She was here Saturday?”

“Yes.”

“How come she was allowed over and I wasn’t?”

“Because.”

“That’s not an answer. But why would she be avoiding you over that? Either she agreed and she’s cool with it or she isn’t cool with it and said no.”

“She said she’d come. I’m worried I guilted her into it.”

“Well what else happened when she was over?”

“She spent the whole day here, but that was all on her. She just sort of decided she was sticking around. But I asked her to stay over, so maybe she thought things got too blurry and needs some space?” By the end of her sentence, Scylla’s voice was higher than usual, and she hated how much she was invested in this.

“Well I mean, she can hardly avoid you forever. You work together.”

“Yeah well, she’s been incredibly successful at not being alone with me at work all week.”

“And you don’t think any of this is related to the whole date thing that you’re trying to brush over?”

“I don’t know, Byron.” She let out a sigh, “I mean for all I know she could’ve been dating this whole time.”

“And that doesn’t annoy you at all?”

“I don’t have some weird claim on her.” She looked down at her hands on the stem of the glass and feigned indifference, ”The deal is we have sex, that’s it.”

“Yeah, you see, saying you don’t have any claim doesn’t actually mean you don’t have any feelings about it.”

“Well why would I? It’s not my business.”

Byron wasn’t letting this go, “You seemed a little upset when I told you.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“Scyl.”

“I swear Byron. I’m fine.” When she raised the wine glass, it was empty.

“Okay.” He waited a minute, hoping she would tell him how she actually felt. He knew he could be waiting for hours.

“How did you even know she’s on a date anyway?”

“She told me. I called to ask if she wanted to hang out, and she said she couldn’t because she had a date.”

“She say anything else?”

“Like what? ‘Oh yeah Byron, by the way in case you see Scylla, let her know I’m avoiding her?’” His impression of the blonde was terrible, but Scylla couldn’t help the laugh she let out.

Laughter over, she muttered, “Do you think she wants to stop? And that’s why she’s avoiding me?”

“I mean, it could be. You’d know better than me.”

“Byron, you’re friends with her. Give me _something_ to go off of.”

“Scyl, you spend way more time with her than I do. I mean, she spent all of Saturday here and then stayed over. I’ve barely been able to get her on the phone lately.”

Scylla was quiet. Her head was a mess and Raelle being on a date just made her more confused.

“Me and Porter are going out for dinner, do you want to tag along?” Oh yeah, third wheeling sounded like exactly what she needed right now.

“No, it’s fine. I think I’ll just head to bed. Read for a bit.”

“Maybe _you_ need to go on a date. You’re even more of an old lady than you used to be.”

“Funny joke. Aren’t most of your weekends you and Porter doing nothing, so who’s the old lady now?”

Nearing the door, Byron sang happily, “La la la la la. I can’t hear you. “

“I’m getting you a hearing aid for Christmas, grandpa!” Ignoring the jibe, Byron closed the door behind him.

Alone again, Scylla let her shoulders drop and stared out the window. She’d been upset when Byron mentioned the date, and she could lie to Byron all she wanted but she wasn’t about to lie to herself. Something about Raelle dating made her jealous, and she could only assume that meant she wanted more from the other woman. She couldn’t deny that she’d enjoyed her company over the weekend, but she’d spent so many years trying not to form attachments that figuring her own feelings out was confusing.

Jealousy was something she was familiar with though, and this was definitely it. She wanted to scream at something. Anything. She wanted to act like a crazy stalker and find out as much as she could about this stupid fucking date. If she let herself spiral, she might realise that under all the jealousy was hurt, but that was too much to deal with right now, so jealousy bubbled over like a volcano long thought to be dormant instead.

Regardless, it didn’t matter how she felt. Raelle was dating other people. Raelle _wanted_ other people. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, Raelle was a romantic. She was charming and funny and beautiful, and Scylla knew that she wanted the whole white picket fence fairy tale. Well, the New York version of it. But Scylla had forgotten that. Forgotten that Raelle wasn’t hers. The blonde was good at making you feel like you were the only person that existed when she focused her attention on you, and Scylla had let herself believe it.

She refilled her glass.

* * *

Libba was great, but they’d been volunteering together for nearly two years now, so Raelle had already known that. She was witty and forward and cute, and Raelle ought to have been having a good time. But the entire time she’d been there, all she could think about was how Scylla’s laugh was more delicate, how Scylla would’ve somehow been coy even as she was forward, how Scylla was stunning even in a hospital bed.

It was frustrating, because if she’d been on this date two months ago, she would’ve enjoyed it. Libba was easy to talk to and Raelle had known her for long enough to know she wasn’t going to surprise her by being a garbage human.

But she wasn’t Scylla.

Aware that it was inevitably going nowhere, half an hour in Raelle had decided to just try and have fun without any pressure to feel something. So that’s what she did, and as soon as they walked out of the restaurant Libba sighed and said, “So, who is she?”

“What?”

“Or he? But I’m pretty sure you’re strictly shes, right?”

Laughing at how casually Libba asked, Raelle answered, “Yeah, strictly shes. What makes you think there’s someone?”

“You were distracted. And you asked me out, so it’s not like you didn’t choose to be there. Why else would you decide to do something about my flirting now, of all times? I assume I’m right?”

Reluctantly, Raelle admitted she was. “We work together. And until a few weeks ago she pretty much hated my guts.”

“Got to love the masochism. I’ve done the whole crush on the enemy thing though. I never told her, and I know if I had she probably would have just screamed at me, but I still wish I had.”

“Really? ‘Cause I’d rather run for the hills.”

Libba smirked, “Give it nine years.”

“Sorry about tonight. It was kinda shitty to try and use you to get over her.”

Libba shrugged, and her voice stayed light, “Yeah, but who hasn’t done it. Plus, no point ruining a perfectly good friendship.”

“So, wanna tell me about this enemy. Nine years is a long time to hold onto that kind of regret.”

“Oh I’m not still caught up in it, but I think about the what ifs a lot. I guarantee I’ve forgotten how much of a pain Bellweather actually was.”

Raelle did her very best not to react as realisation dawned on her. Swyth. Libba had to be Swyth.

“Would you wanna see her again if you had the chance?”

“I suppose. Why?”

“No reason. Random question, but eh, what’s your surname?”

“And here I thought you weren’t interested.” A pause. “It’s Swyth. What’s with all the questions?”

“Just realised I didn’t know. Seemed strange that I’ve know you so long and didn’t.” Oh God this was going to be fun. Also potentially mean, but Raelle needed something to make her forget about Scylla and if things turned out how she thought they would, this should fit the bill. “In the name of staying friends, wanna come over and have a beer? I swear I’m not trying anything; I really just mean a beer.”

“Why not, not like I had anything else planned.”

* * *

“Hey, I’m home.” Raelle shouted it hoping Abigail would come in, unable to resist questioning the blonde about the date. For the first time since she’d left Scylla’s place on Sunday, something worked out the way she wanted.

Abigail walked out of her room with her eyes on the phone in her hands as Raelle grabbed two beers from the fridge, Libba in tow.

“You’re back early. How’d it go?” She still hadn’t looked up, but Raelle felt Libba freeze at her side. Meeting Libba’s eyes as she handed her the beer, Raelle knew she’d be dead if looks could kill.

“I’m not over the Scylla thing, but me and Libba are gonna stay friends.”

Bingo. The Bellweather’s eyes snapped up, narrowing when she landed on the woman next to Raelle.

“Swyth.” It was practically a snarl.

“Bellweather.”

“Oh, you know each other. What a surprise!” Well that had been completely unconvincing.


	13. Chapter 13

Raelle had thought it over and decided that if she was already avoiding the brunette, then telling her she had feelings for her wasn’t going to make the situation any worse. At least this way she didn’t have to come up with some bogus explanation for why she couldn’t sleep with the woman anymore. Scylla wasn’t cruel, despite all their bickering over the years, she wouldn’t purposely cause Raelle any real hurt. It would be fine. Mortifying, but fine.

Sucking in a deep breath before knocking, Raelle ignored the part of her that wanted to run and waited for Scylla to answer. When she did, the brunette didn’t bother to hide the surprise on her face. It was warranted, Raelle had been doing her best to not see the girl since Tuesday, including ignoring most of her messages and giving weak excuses to the rest. She wasn’t proud of it, but she was already confused enough and seeing the woman everywhere had been melting her brain.

Despite her apprehension, she was glad to see Scylla. It had been difficult avoiding her the past week, especially when Raelle had spent most of the last few weeks looking at her. Looking at her in bed, looking at her in work, looking at her at game night. She’d gotten greedy, and the week of denying herself of seeing Scylla had felt like withdrawal.

“What are you doing here? Not that you shouldn’t be, I’m just a little confused.” Scylla was still in her pyjamas and looked very much like she had the previous Saturday. Raelle couldn’t shake the sense that something bad was about to happen.

“We need to talk.”

Scylla opened the door wider and beckoned the blonde in, “Way to make me panic. But yeah, I actually need to talk to you about something too.”

“Oh.” Aware that after revealing why she’d avoided the brunette all week she’d want to make as quick an escape as possible, Raelle said, “You go first.”

“Do you want coffee or anything?”

The blonde couldn’t not notice the fidgety energy radiating off Scylla, so despite wanting to spend as little time as she could in the apartment, she accepted the offer.

Neither attempted to speak while Scylla made the drink, and as soon as she placed it in Raelle’s hand she sighed, “So I think we should stop.”

“Oh.” It caught Raelle off guard, and a tiny part of her, which she did her best not to acknowledge, had come alive with the hope that the brunette was ending things for the exact reason she herself knew she needed to.

“Why um,” She searched for the words, but honestly she didn’t think she needed to elaborate much, “Why?”

“We’re in a pretty good place Raelle. At least, we were until you started avoiding me.” Raelle wasn’t surprised she’d been called out, but it did make her feel guilty. It also made her stop and actually focus on the brunette; she was closed off again, wound up almost as tight as she had been when she first arrived in the squad.

Scylla continued, “And I don’t know why you are, but whatever it is, I don’t think we should keep having sex. Either something down the line goes wrong and we end up hating each other’s guts again, or we keep on like this.” Scylla turned her gaze away, voice tired, “Don’t you want more?”

She did. She so badly did, but the irony of the situation was clearly lost on the other woman. The part that had lit up moments ago died, her mind resigned.

“We’re not getting any younger Raelle. You should be out meeting people you can see a life with, not spending all your spare time in my bed.”

“You can tell me that you don’t want to do this anymore Scylla, but don’t try and say it’s for my sake. You don’t get to tell me what I should be doing with my time.” She couldn’t control the rebuttal, even though she knew that this was the perfect out she’d been looking for. Scylla’s arrogance was rearing its head and as hot as Raelle thought it was when it was directed at others, she couldn’t stand it being directed at her.

“No, I don’t. But I do get to tell you that you won’t be spending it with me.”

“Fine.” She made no move to leave the room.

“I really don’t want to fight Raelle. The whole point of this is that we don’t fight.”

“I know.” It felt like a break-up, but that was probably more to do with her own feelings than the situation. She had definitely been less invested in very legitimate past break-ups than she was in this though, so she thought the comparison was valid.

Setting aside her own upset, Raelle took Scylla in again. She didn’t know when she’d next get the chance. The brunette’s eyes were sad, completely disconnected form the smile she kept on her face, and her shoulders were drooped in defeat. Raelle wanted to hug her, and given that things were already a mess and she’d probably have very few interactions with the woman for a while, she decided she might as well.

As she always did with contact, Scylla stiffened in her arms before relaxing and hooking her arms around the blonde’s waist. Both women stayed still as they soaked each other in, unwilling to pull away and unable to physically get closer.

Raelle tried to memorise her smell, to perfect the recollection of Scylla in her head. How she felt in her arms, her breathing in the blonde’s ear, the slow push and pull of her chest. Scylla went to pull back, but Raelle held on tighter, keeping her in place for a little while longer.

When the brunette spoke, she could feel the air blowing against the side of her head, “It was good while it lasted, wasn’t it?”

Raelle nuzzled against the head leaned beside hers and hummed in agreement.

“What was it you wanted to talk about?”

“It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

She pulled back. Then, she left and didn’t turn back despite every piece of her that begged to.

* * *

Raelle gone, Scylla made herself tea and curled up on the couch. It had sucked, but she stood by her decision. Raelle deserved everything, she couldn’t hold her back from that, even if she wanted to keep the blonde all to herself. Raelle wanted the full shebang, and she clearly didn’t want it with Scylla.

She’d gotten over the woman before, she could do it again. That did not make her want to cry any less. She hadn’t even realised she had feelings for Raelle until she found out she was losing her, which really just spoke to all the ways she wasn’t what Raelle needed anyway.

She stopped holding the tears back, it wasn’t like there was anyone around to see them. She wanted to watch Lilo and Stitch, but now that was tainted by Raelle. Raelle rapt in attention, rogue tears falling on her cheeks when Stitch said ‘Ohana means family’. Raelle beautiful in dim light and not hogging the blanket even though Scylla knew she wanted to. Raelle asking what she needed, ready to do whatever she asked. Raelle peaceful on her chest, tiny snores coming from her nose, braids adorably dishevelled.

She didn’t know what she was going to do with the beer that was left in her fridge, Lord knows neither her nor Byron would ever drink it. And it would take ages before she stopped finding blonde hair everywhere in her apartment. There would be constant reminders for weeks.

She wanted to call Byron, but she didn’t have it in her to admit she needed him right now. He wouldn’t say ‘I told you so’, not until things had passed. He would hold her and watch crappy movies with her and let her feel like shit for a while. But she didn’t actually want Byron to come and make her feel better, she wanted Raelle to do it.

She flicked through the channels, contemplating finding something disgustingly soppy and giving herself a good cry. With Christmas two weeks away, she was spoilt for choice with all the cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies on repeat. Deciding it was better to feel it all instead of bottling it up and dragging it out, Scylla settled on some generic girl meets boy Christmas romance.

It did the job, she spent most of it going back and forth between sniffling and crying, but it didn’t change the fact that she wanted Raelle to be on the couch next to her to hold her.

* * *

“How’d it go?”

Abigail’s back was to her, but the words didn’t come from her anyway. Libba stood in a shirt that, given the girls tiny stature, obviously belonged to the woman next to her. Things had gone better than Raelle had anticipated the night before, and to the shock of the two women, they’d all been pleasantly surprised. Raelle was torn between being happy for her friend and insanely jealous that they’d resolved things so seamlessly while she struggled to work through her Scylla situation.

She dropped her keys in the bowl next to the door and sighed, “It didn’t. She ended things before I got the chance.”

Abigail spun from the frying pan quicker than Raelle thought possible, “What?”

“She basically said we should quit while we were ahead. I didn’t see the point in telling her how I felt after that.”

“But what if-“

“I really don’t wanna talk about it. Can we just pretend it never happened?”

Abigail gave in at the blonde’s despondent tone, knowing it wasn’t time to push, “Sure Shitbird. But don’t think Tally will let it go so easily.”

“Thanks Bells.”

“Want some French toast?”

”Sure.”

She didn’t want to talk about it, but that wasn’t to say she could stop thinking about it. It didn’t make her less bitter about the fact that Scylla was probably fine right now, probably tucked away with a book in hand, learning about something she had no reason to know.

Byron probably knew already, was probably devastated. As much as Scylla had said he’d teased her, Raelle found him teasing her a lot as well. He’d made a bunch of jokes about them falling in love and the irony of the situation and ‘oh can I be the Godfather?’. She’d thought the idea was so ludicrous the first time he’d said it, but the last time he’d said it she was already trying to figure out how to get over how she felt. She’d almost told him, but she knew he couldn’t not tell Scylla.

She missed her already. It had been a week since she’d stayed over, and less than that since they’d had sex, but Raelle missed the woman’s presence more than anything. The jibes that had turned into flirty jokes, the grin, those fucking eyes.

Abigail wasn’t wrong about Tally though, who arrived to interrogate Raelle about how things had gone an hour later.

“What do you mean you didn’t tell her? The whole reason you went over was to tell her.”

Comfy in her sweatpants and partially annoyed at the interruption, Raelle sighed, “I know Tal, but I wanted to be able to make a quick escape, so I told her to go first. And I was right by the way. Would’ve sucked even more if I’d told her and _then_ she ended it.”

“But why did she say she wanted to stop?”

“Some crap about not wanting to make things worse and end up hating each other again.”

“So what, you’re like friends now or?”

“I don’t know. I don’t really wanna see her for a while.”

“Maybe this will be good for you Rae. We all agreed you needed space.”

“I know we did. But it feels like I just got dumped, except I never even got to do the dating part.”

“I’m sorry Rae. Anything I can do?”

“I really just want to be distracted.”

“Distraction I can do.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it, here you go  
> Warning: This chapter will probably not make you feel much better than the previous

Things had been awkward at work. The two still smiled when they made eye contact, but the smiles were forced. Raelle wasn’t avoiding being in the bullpen anymore, but she was avoiding the coffee machine and Scylla was definitely not stupid enough to believe she’d suddenly given up her caffeine addiction. They spoke when they needed to, but there were no teasing comments and the conversation ended as soon as it could.

Raelle was miserable. She replaced all the time she’d been spending at Scylla’s with time at the gym, and it was definitely a good distraction, but she still went home alone to the apartment she shared with Abigail. And if the days since Saturday were any indication, also Libba. They were happy, and it was disgusting. It was only made worse by their flirty bickering. She wanted someone to bicker with.

Anacostia drew her away from her thoughts by announcing, “Everyone up, we’ve got a lead on the dealers in the Smith case. I need everyone ready to go now.”

They ended up outside a warehouse, but from what Quartermaine said it was more like a labyrinth inside, “I don’t like to say it, but if we don’t split up they’ll probably get out before we can catch anyone. They know the layout, we don’t. Be careful people, I don’t want to fill out a bunch of paperwork on this. Ready?”

At the nods she received, she signalled everyone to enter through one of the 4 entrances. Raelle toed lightly through the hall, gaze sharp on the space where her torch landed. Labyrinth was a kind description; these guys couldn’t have chosen a better hide out. Rounding a fourth corner in as many minutes with still no hint of their suspects, Raelle tried to stay focused.

She felt a hand come over her mouth and an arm grab her in a chokehold. Frozen in place, there was a whisper in her ear, “Nice try pipsqueak. How many of you are there?”

“Well currently, there are two of us.” She didn’t think she’d ever been so glad to hear Scylla’s sarcasm. Nudging her gun against the back of his head, Scylla continued, “Let her go.”

“Why would I do that?”

“All the exits are blocked, you’re not getting out of here either way. Why bother upping the charge?” That arrogance was back, but Raelle could hear the undercurrent in her voice. She was scared.

“The way I see it, I have one of yours. You going to make me kill her, or are you going to turn the other cheek while I go on my way?”

“Your brains will be on those walls before you can so much as tighten that arm.” Raelle didn’t know is she was lying or not, but the snarl that ripped free from her chest was convincing enough.

Nobody moved for a few breaths, and then Raelle felt the pressure on her throat let up. Scylla had the guy in cuffs before Raelle could even settle her heartbeat. On edge and s eeing Abigail round the corner behind the blonde, Scylla forewent listing the man’s rights and reached for Raelle.

Raelle couldn’t concentrate on anything, but she could hear Abigail reading off rights as Scylla’s hands landed on either side of her face. While her own eyes were dazed, Scylla’s were frantically moving over her, “Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.” If they hadn't been in this exact situation, she might have thought it was endearing. As it was, she wasn't processing much of anything.

Gulping and biting her cheek, Raelle spoke distractedly, “Yeah. Yeah, I think I’m okay.”

Scylla was everywhere. An arm around her waist rubbing back and forth with her thumb, a hand cradling her head, a soothing voice mumbling reassurance -as much to herself as to Raelle- in her ear. It felt good. Stabilising.

The hallway was empty when they pulled back. She hadn’t noticed everyone coming and going, but clearly Scylla had. Taking Raelle by the hand, she led her out through the now lit corridors, “They’re all outside already. There are EMTs out there to check you.”

The hand in hers really should have been the last thing Scylla was thinking about, but concentrating on it was the only thing keeping her calm for the time being. It was perfectly fitted to hers, and warm and calloused and she didn’t want to have to let go. It wasn’t likely she’d get have an excuse to hold it anytime soon. When they reached the EMTs though, she reluctantly let her hand drop.

Cold hand at her side, she met Raelle’s eyes. Wrong move. Too much. She redirected her eyes to the blonde’s neck, “Come find me when you’re all cleared?”

“Sure. Are you sticking around or?” There were still a few people lingering around, but from the looks of things most had already left.

“I said I’d drive you back to the station, so Abigail went with Porter. I’m going to find somewhere to get some tea, you want coffee?”

“Please.”

Scylla made her way to the nearest place she could find on autopilot, and ordered on autopilot -nearly forgetting the coffee- and didn’t properly come back to herself until she parked back next to the EMTs.

Raelle looked fine, she was cracking jokes with the same people who Scylla had left her with. Breathing in, Scylla shook herself out of the panic that had set in when she saw that man’s arm around Raelle’s throat. She’d blacked out, couldn’t remember most of what happened between rounding the corner and pulling Raelle into her.

Walking up to Raelle, she couldn’t help but worry. She wanted to take the woman home and sit her on the couch and smother her with attention until Raelle couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted to run a hand up and down her back the way she liked until she fell asleep and snored through the night. Instead, she handed her her coffee and tried not to touch her again. Having come back to reality, Scylla did her best to keep her distance and Raelle seemed to be in agreement. The car ride back was quiet except for the odd sip from a to-go cup, but when they got out of the car Scylla called the blonde back again.

“Hey." She waited for Raelle to face her before she spoke again, "How are you doing?”

“I mean, I’m not great, but I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” The blonde glanced to the side, “Thanks, by the way.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Raelle motioned towards the precinct, “Shall we?”

Scylla didn’t speak, just started walking.

* * *

It was Abigail and Raelle’s turn to host that night, but Scylla had assumed Raelle would bow out and take it easy, so when the woman in question opened the door she couldn’t stop the surprise in her voice, “You’re still playing?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Did I imagine this afternoon?”

“Scylla, it was nothing. And I need the distraction.”

“Which is it Raelle? It was nothing or it was enough of something that you need a distraction?”

Raelle rolled her eyes and Scylla tried to reign in her anger, “I’m fine Scylla. Do you three want to come in or did you just want to interrogate me all night?”

Scylla pushed into the room, putting as much space between her and Raelle as possible. This was ridiculous, Raelle should be in bed watching tv or something, not drinking beer and playing stupid board games all night. Why couldn’t she just look after herself and not pretend everything was fine? Why was everyone else acting like this was fine? Who on earth was the newbie on the couch?

Obviously the curly haired woman had noticed her confusion-she offered Scylla her hand, “Libba.”

“Scylla. Who are you here with?” Scylla thought she would’ve known if one of the few singletons in the group had met someone new, and her gut itched with suspicion.

“Oh, I volunteer with Raelle. Hope it’s okay that I’m crashing.”

Scylla’s lips fell into a pout, but Abigail appeared before she could say anything more, “Hey Ramshorn, don’t worry about Libba. Her bark is worse than her bite.”

“Rude.”

“Cool. I’m going to get a drink.”

* * *

Raelle didn’t know what was happening. Scylla had given up after her initial admonishing, but now she kept giving Libba devil eyes. Raelle would know, she’d spent two entire games watching Scylla stare the woman out. She didn’t understand how Scylla could have found something that wrong with the short woman in the two-minute interaction they’d had.

Even weirder, when they had to get into teams of two, instead of Abigail choosing Libba or teaming up with Raelle like usual, she picked Scylla. She barely even liked Scylla. Raelle had ended up being partnered with Libba and was relieved that there was no remaining awkwardness from their date. They ended up coming second, Abigail winning as usual and Scylla not nearly as smug as she should have been.

Scylla sat on the far side of the group, squished between Abigail and Byron, and was getting sick of the elbow she kept getting from the man on her right every time she scoffed or rolled her eyes. She couldn’t help it, Libba was finding every excuse to touch Raelle and the blonde hadn’t even noticed. She was aware she shouldn’t be reacting like this. She’d decided to try to be happy for Raelle but sitting watching it wasn’t something she'd signed up for.

Leaning over so no one else heard, she whispered, “Can we leave soon? I don’t feel like being here much longer.” It was petty and childish, and she couldn’t care less. She needed out of this room.

“I’ll make an excuse after this game, try not to have a shit fit before then.”

Smiling sarcastically, she huffed, “I’ll do my best.”

Six minutes later, she was relieved to hear Byron declare, “Well it’s been fun, but I’m afraid I’m not feeling well so we're going to head out.”

There was a chorus of boos before Scylla took her out and said, “I might as well come with, I need to stop by yours on my way home anyway.”

After multiple rounds of goodbyes and attempted persuasion, the three left the apartment. They got the whole way to the building door – which she was impressed with to be honest- before Byron started, “So, you want to tell me what that shitshow was about?”

“Can I crash on your couch tonight?”

“What?”

“I don’t want to go home, and I need to talk to you anyway, so can I crash at yours?”

“Of course you can. Now do you want to tell me what that was about?”

“We need to stop and get chocolate first. We can talk when I’m in PJs.”

“You’re very high maintenance.”

Scylla flicked her eyes back up to the window of the apartment they’d just left and sighed, “So I’ve been told.”

* * *

As soon as the door closed behind Tally, Raelle pounced, “So, that was weird.”

Faking innocence, badly, Abigail looked over from where she had been lifting empty glasses, “What was weird.”

“You. And Libba. And Byron leaving early when clearly Scylla just wanted to escape.”

Libba’s smile was wry when she looked up from the sink, “What did we do?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that I haven’t seen you two further than a foot apart all week and tonight, suddenly you’re,” The word was punctuated with a finger pointed to the curly haired woman, “Being overly friendly with me, and you,” This time it was Abigail on the receiving and, “Are all buddy-buddy with Ramshorn.”

Abigail gave up on the glasses, “I think you’re imagining things Shitbird. I didn’t want you to have to sit through all the partner games with Ramshorn, so Libba said she’d go with you and I’d take Ramshorn. Sorry we tried to help.”

“And that explains Libba being abnormally touchy how?”

“Okay, so maybe I wanted to see how she’d react to me touching you.” Libba showed no remorse, “And I was right! She was 100 percent ready to fight me.”

“What? She was not ready to fight you. She just- “ But she had been. Raelle had seen it. Had watched her send daggers the entire evening.

“She’s just icy with new people.”

“Believe what you want, but I’m right.”

“Whatever.” She left the room and the cleaning to the couple, it seemed fair given the day she’d had.

But Raelle couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t get that afternoon out of her head. Scylla would’ve shot him. She knew that. If he’d made a move, she wouldn’t have hesitated, and Raelle didn’t know what to make of it. Nor could she ignore the fact that Libba was right. She just couldn’t decide if the glares were about someone supposedly being there with Raelle in general or if the brunette was hurt that she’d started dating so soon. Maybe she thought Raelle had been dating the entire time, which they’d never discussed but probably should have.

Whatever it was, this was what Scylla had asked for, and Raelle was too tired to figure it all out.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very short and also sad, so I'm sorry on both counts. In better news, this is probably the saddest chapter and things can't get worse?

Once they’d all gotten into pyjamas and Scylla had begun consuming the start of her outrageous pile of chocolate, sitting cross-legged between the two men, Byron waited.

Groaning and bringing her face to her hands, as she almost always did when speaking about anything that made her feel vulnerable, Scylla broke the silence, “I think love her.”

Byron was careful not to show too much expression – he knew well by now how not to spook the brunette into silence- and clarified, “Raelle?”

Her hands dropped and the glare she sent was impressive given that they’d only just started, “No, Abigail.”

When Byron rolled his eyes, she continued, “Obviously I mean Raelle! Who else would I be talking about?”

“I just wanted to be sure.” He raised his hands in defence, and when he dropped them back down he asked, “You _think_ you love her?”

She was cracking, she could feel her eyes starting to sting up as she nodded.

Knowing how resistant she was to tearing up in front of people, Byron looked over her shoulder to the man on her other side, “Porter love, will you get some tea?”

The man in question stood and sighed knowingly, “I’m sleeping on the couch tonight, aren’t I?”

Byron was thankful that Porter knew them so well and wasn’t chagrined to be offering, “It’s very likely.”

“I’ll be quick.” And then the door closed, and Scylla twisted to hug Byron. His arms came up fast, and she burrowed into him as much as she could.

“I hate this. I thought I was passed the stage in my life where people could do this to me.”

“Oh honey,” He held her tighter, as if somehow he could protect her from the pain, “You just got better at it ignoring it.”

“It hurts. It hurts, and she’s all touchy with that idiot and I hate that I can’t just be a better person about all of it, but I want to punch her stupid face. Ugh, I’m like a goddamn teenager.”

“I’ll do it for you.” A puff of laughter pushed through her short breaths.

“I don’t know what to do, Byron.”

“What happened to you not having feelings?”

“I didn’t think I did.”

“So you went from no feelings to being in love with the woman? That’s extreme even for you Scyl.”

“I thought I had regular feelings.” A sniffle was muffled by his shirt, but he heard it anyway, “I planned to mope around for a week, maybe two, and then move on to something else.”

“But?”

“But she’s Raelle. And she was in trouble and I realised I’d rather kill someone than let anything happen to her. And now she’s acting like nothing happened today and all I want to do is wrap her in bubble wrap and keep her tucked away behind her desk. But I’m not allowed to say that, and she seems fine and I love her and I just want to cry. Like all the time.”

He’d only actually seen the brunette cry four times- excluding the times she’d cried about her parents- in the thirteen years he’d known her. It seems that Raelle Collar was adding one to the list. It was never any less difficult to watch. He knew it was pointless trying to talk to her about the situation logically when she was like this, so he just let her stay there, breathing erratic against his shirt, until Porter came back into the room.

* * *

They’d taken to watching cartoons, foregoing pick me up Lilo and Stitch viewing for the first time in Byron’s memory. Scylla’s breathing had calmed, but she was still clinging to Byron’s arm and Porter had since made her three cups of tea.

Figuring there was no point delaying the conversation anymore, Byron tried to keep his tone soft, “I don’t want to be harsh, but I feel like I have to ask. Just to be sure, you don’t think this is all some weird product of having sex pretty often and then having her comfort you when you needed it?”

God, he’d forgotten how scary she was when she glared with those hollow eyes.

“No Byron, I don’t think I’m crying over a girl because she was nice to me. How dumb do you think I am?”

“I don’t. I just, needed to be sure.”

“Well, I’m not 15 anymore okay?”

“I know. Sorry. But you have to admit that that would be easier than this shitshow.”

Smiling from one corner of her mouth, she agreed, “Yeah, it would.”

“Have you talked to her about any of it?”

“No.” She’d shut back down. 

“Scylla.”

She pulled back, somehow managing to put space between herself and both men, “What? She was dating. Presumably, she was dating Libba. She certainly wasn’t pining away for me, watching cartoons on a couch that isn’t even hers and crying on her friends.”

“And when you ended your whole benefits thing, what was the logic in that? Because I’d like to think you were protecting yourself and taking space, but I know better.”

Giving up her defensive posture but still making her frustration clear, Scylla sighed, “She wants more than me Byron. What’s the point in holding onto her when she’s going to leave eventually? It was better to just get it over with.” She toyed with the edge of her shirt with the hand not holding a mug, “Besides, she _should_ be dating. That's what she wants.”

Porter ran a comforting hand through her hair as Scylla’s head fell back to Byron’s shoulder, and he risked pushing, “What about what you want Scyl?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want when it clashes with what she wants. And I want her to be happy, even if everything sucks for a while.”

Byron let his head fall to rest on hers and did his best not to sound pushy, “Don’t you think it might help to talk to her about it?”

“I can barely talk to you guys about it. I don’t even know how I would start. And I’m definitely not telling her after tonight.”

* * *

They’d decided to head to bed just before 2am, but Scylla was still tossing half an hour later and Byron wasn’t able to ignore it.

“So, if it’s not the sex, what is it?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re not sleeping anytime soon, so tell me what it is about her.”

She rolled over to face him and just breathed for minute. “You know that smile she gets, where her whole face lights up? And her eyes get all twinkly? I could stare at that for weeks and still not want to look away.” It was the first sincere smile he’d seen on her face all day.

“And she’s so open all the time. It’s infuriating. She thinks things and then she just says them. Like it’s not something that can be used against her.”

Her hand came up to move her hair from where it had started to fall over her eyes and then she whispered again, “She cares way too much about people. Last month, she spent a whole weekend schmoozing Abigail’s mother – who _both_ of them hate- just because Abigail didn’t want to have to go alone. And then the same week something went wrong with Tally’s TV, and Raelle just got up at 5am and went over before work to look at it. And then it still wasn’t working so she went over after work and she was there till nearly midnight.”

Byron’s hand moved over to rest on hers between them, and she kept going with shaky breath, “She snores like a baby. It’s barely there, but when you notice it you can’t unnotice it. And she clings to pillows like they’re treasure she has to protect. She looks so perfect like that. Like, if there is some higher power, that’s what they spent the most time on. Sleeping Raelle Collar.”

She kept whispering into the dark, getting closer and closer to Byron, until inevitably both her and him fell asleep, huddled together in the middle of the bed.


	16. Chapter 16

The next week went by uneventfully. Raelle decided to put aside whatever had happened at game night and Scylla had gone back to pretending she was fine. Byron had tried to get her to talk to the blonde, but she didn’t see the point in clinging to someone who wasn’t interested. So they both went back to their new normal of politeness and nothing more.

Scylla was getting a lot less work done. She spent half the day pulling her eyes off of Raelle just for them to end up back on the blonde. Raelle was much the same, except she had Abigail spamming her with messages about how stupid she was being. Tally had joined in and Raelle felt like she spent all her time telling her friends to stop getting her hopes up when they were probably wrong.

Both women were glad to see Friday come, looking forward to being off for the holidays and having some time away from awkward forced interactions. Before leaving the precinct though, Raelle was trying to figure out a way to give the brunette a present she’d bought on a whim the day after the pigeon and the vet fiasco. Realising there was no other way to be discrete about it, in the end she just left it neatly wrapped on the girl’s desk with a note telling her not to open it until Christmas. At least this way she would be states away and there would be no awkward do I hug you, do I not hug you situation.

Raelle had one more night in the city and then she was heading back to her dad's until the second, and she was planning to spend it with Tally and Abigail and Byron. She was cautious about spending too much time with the man after everything, but she refused to lose him just because she missed Scylla. Besides, Scylla would have him for the next two weeks, Raelle deserved tonight.

They ended up going to their usual bar, perfectly between Tally’s place and Raelle and Abigail’s, so it made sense that the girls arrived before Byron. Naturally, the conversation centred on the same thing they’d been bringing up all week.

“Raelle I really think you should maybe just talk to her about it. She seems miserable. What else could it be about?” Tally’s eyes shouldn’t be allowed into disagreements, they were not fair.

“Literally anything. If she’s so sad about it, why doesn’t she talk to me.”

“That’s rich coming from you Shitbird. You realised you liked her and avoided her for a week. And then you tried to talk to her and chickened out.”

Her fingers gripped the pint glass in her hands, “Yeah well, she’s a lot more intimidating than I am.”

“She’s 5’2” Raelle, find a new excuse.”

“I actually kind of agree with her on this one Abs. She glared at me once and I dropped my tea.”

“Thank you Tally.”

“But I still don’t think you should leave without telling her. You don’t have to see her for two whole weeks Rae. If we’re wrong and she doesn’t feel the same, then at least you can avoid her until the air clears.”

“Honestly, part of me thought I’d be over it by now.” She had been known to fall into infatuation in the past, but it usually went away as soon as the focus of her fixation was removed from the picture. She’d been hoping this might turn out the same, but her feelings for Scylla were like a tumour that wouldn’t go away. There was probably something wrong with describing her feelings for the woman like that, but Raelle thought it was an accurate analogy; her body wouldn’t stop feeding the thing that was hurting her most.

“Thought you’d be over what by now?”

She saw Abigail open her mouth to reply to Byron’s question and kicked her hard beneath the table. Byron was under no circumstances to find out, he was a loyal friend, but his loyalty was with Scylla.

“Uh, the um, you know, the uh, the raid on the warehouse last week. I had a weird dream about it last night.”

“That was literally last week Raelle, how on earth would you be over it?”

* * *

It was nice to be home. Her dad always told her he was okay when they talked, but she worried. And working with him on cars had always calmed her down, something about focusing on the intricacies of an engine took her brain to the empty zone. Not to mention the quiet. She’d gotten so used to the constant hum of the city that the silence was overwhelming, but instead of making her focus on her thoughts it made her brain sink into nothing.

Neither of them could cook, so ever since her mother had died the pair had been helped by their next-door neighbour on Christmas. It wasn’t something the Collars had ever taken lightly, Christmas was family time, even if it was just the two of them now. She called Abigail and Tally and Byron after dinner to wish them happy holidays and with a pang in her chest, debated messaging Scylla, but in the end just told Byron to pass the sentiment on.

But right before she headed to bed her phone rang again. Scylla’s name lit up the phone screen in the dark room, and Raelle spent so much time debating what she should do that she nearly missed the call altogether, leaving her a bit tense as she picked up.

“Hey.”

Scylla’s voice was light on the other end, and she sounded slightly tipsy, “Did you buy me a book about looking after pigeons?”

The teasing tone sent butterflies through the blonde’s stomach and she let out a little laugh at the question, “Yeah. Figured you were smart enough to understand it, might save you all those vet bills.”

“Very funny Raelle.” She paused, and when she spoke again, she sounded a little more sober, “Thank you though. It was a nice surprise.”

Throat tight, Raelle forced out a cheerful, “Good.”

The joking lilt was back in Scylla’s voice, “And I know you probably meant it as a joke, but I’m totally going to read this back to front until all the pigeons in New York are safe.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

She heard voices laughing and calling in the background through the phone, and Scylla pull away to shout, “Yeah I’m coming now!”

Talking to Raelle again she mumbled, “I’m being summoned to watch Home Alone. We do it every year and apparently my absence is insulting. I’ll um, I’ll see you at work?” Her voice lifted a bit at the end in nervousness and Raelle got so distracted by how cute she was being that she didn’t reply for longer than was appropriate.

“Oh, yeah. See you at work. Merry Christmas Scyl.” Her sleepiness made her realise her use of the shortened name too late, she couldn’t tag on the end now, so instead she just hoped the other woman didn’t notice.

“Merry Christmas Raelle” It was whispered and faint, and then the line was dead. Raelle rolled over and cuddled into her pillows, thoughts of a tipsy brunette bringing a smile to her face.

* * *

Raelle thought she’d done a good job of acting normal over the trip, but on New Year’s Day Edwin fell into the worn armchair next to her and asked, “So, what’s botherin’ ya kid?”

She shook her head out, “It’s nothing. Don’t worry pops.”

“Raelle, you’ve been mopin’ round here for a week. Don’t come home and start lyin’ to me.”

Resting her head on her hand, Raelle went with the truth, “There’s this girl.”

“Makes sense. What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know if she feels the same.”

“Have you tried askin’ her?”

“We work together, and we share friends. And last time I tried asking her out, she called me a jackass. I don’t want things to be weird.”

Her father sighed and turned serious, “Raelle, do you love her?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

He gaze was piercing, “Do you love her?”

“Yeah. I think I do.” And then she knew it was true. It had been true for longer than she was comfortable admitting. Even when they’d ‘hated’ each other Raelle’s heart had never been in it, and by the time she was allowed to stop pretending it had, she was already tumbling uncontrollably into this.

“Then who cares how bad it could go? Think about how _good_ it can go. What if she’s _it_. And you don’t try, and then you spend the rest of your life sittin’ on what ifs. What if you look back in thirty years and you’re wishing you’d said fuck it. Stop pretending you already know what’ll happen Rae. At least if you tell her and she doesn’t feel the same, then you know.”

Raelle smiled at him softly and said, “Love you pops.” She hated that he was always right.

“And if she don’t feel the same, I’ll come to that city an’ kick her ass.”

“Maybe we’ll skip that part, but you’re probably right about the rest.”

“I’ll do it.”

“You hate that city pops, always sayin' people aren’t there for each other.”

“They’re not! But I’d go if you need me.”

“I think I can handle it. But thank you.”

“And you’ll tell her?”

“Yeah pops, I’ll tell her.”

“Good. Don’t stay up too late, don’t want you fallin’ asleep on your way back in the mornin’.”

“I won’t, I’m just gonna finish this episode and then I’ll be up.”

* * *

Christmas had been good, even though she wasn’t particularly religious. Byron’s parents were always happy to have everyone around, including Porter who spent the holidays with Byron instead of flying home, and demanded that they all spend the week in the house. It was beautiful, a picture-perfect snowy Christmas, and Scylla actually found herself enjoying it. And the stupid book had made her giddy despite the fact that she was still upset about the whole Raelle situation.

They finally left on New Year’s Eve. Everyone in the squad who was still in the city was going for drinks at their usual spot, so Scylla dragged herself through the motions, dreading being surrounded by happy couples come midnight. The only saving grace was that Raelle wasn’t back yet, she drew the line at watching the girl kiss someone else on New Year’s.

What was funny though, was that Libba was there. With Abigail. Surely that broke some rule of girl code somewhere. Scylla was in the middle of staring openly at the pair, mind half made up to go over and give them hell for hurting the blonde, when Byron came up behind her again, “Her and Rae are just friends. When she told you that she volunteered with her that was the truth. She’s with Abigail. Not Rae.”

Scylla’s brow furrowed, “Why were they all touchy-feely last week then?”

“Don’t know, but they’re just friends. They told me the night before Rae went home.”

“And you didn’t think to mention it before?” It didn’t change much, but it was enough to lift some of the weight in her chest. Said weight was then replaced with guilt over glaring at the girl for an entire evening.

“Why? So that you could continue to do nothing about how you feel? Didn’t see the point.”

A roll of her eyes accompanied her disinterested, “Whatever.”

“Scylla stop overthinking everything and come dance. Please. And then tomorrow you need to really sit and think about telling her. It’s not going away, and I’m sick of hopping back and forth between the two of you when you’re clearly meant to be together.”

“Tell her that.”

“I have.”

He honestly didn’t know how she moved her neck that fast, “You did what?”

“I told her I didn’t know why they two of you didn’t just get together. She floundered and blushed like I’d just talked through my sex life in explicit detail.”

“God I’ll never forget that. Please never do it again I’m still not over the first time.”

“Nice brush over.”

“Thanks, I do my best.” She grinned at him and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

“Now come dance, I’m sick of babysitting sad Scylla. I want fun Scylla.”

“Fine, but the tequila is on you.”

“Purely because of how stunning that dress is, I’m okay with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, you will actually have to wait 24 hours for the next chapter


	17. Chapter 17

Scylla was anxious. She’d agreed to go to this dumb reunion despite everything, and she’d gotten the whole car ride with the boys without panicking. She knew she looked good, and she knew she liked her job and she really shouldn’t have felt as intimidated as she did at the thought of seeing stupid people who had no bearing on her life anymore. But she did feel intimidated.

As soon as they got through the doors, Scylla did a mental count of all the people in the room she was happy to talk to and all the assholes she was going to avoid like the plague. It was working well, she’d gotten to speak to all of the people she actually gave a shit about and was making a beeline over to an old friend from debate when she heard a voice she’d done her best to erase from memory beside her, “Ramshorn, that you?”

She knew there was an edge to her voice that was unmistakably cold when she smiled and replied, “Look at that, the golden boy is back.”

He looked practically the same, some part of her had hoped he’d have gotten uglier but apparently the universe wasn’t fair. The woman beside him, presumably his wife from the rings on their fingers, smiled like she hadn’t picked up on the spite in the words. Scylla started scanning the room, looking for Byron or Porter or anyone else who could pull her away from this conversation.

“And so is the hermit. How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been good, could use some more wine though.” She really could. It had been a mistake not going straight to the drinks table.

“Oh no, you can’t run away that quickly. We’ve hardly caught up at all.” Why did people like him always grow up and try to act like they’d never done anything wrong while still being dickheads? His wife was the picture of placid beauty, and it didn’t surprise her. No one with anything going on in their head could possibly put up with Jake long enough to marry him.

“How rude of me.” Even her sarcasm wasn’t enough to make her feel less uncomfortable right now, which was saying something given how frequently she used that shield. She turned directly to his wife when she spoke, charm on full force, knowing perfectly well how to get on his nerves, “Hi I’m Scylla, and you are?”

She caught the twitch of his jaw as he tightened his arm on the woman’s waist and felt smug knowing she’d gotten to him.

“Oh, I’m Meg. So lovely to meet you Scylla. What a beautiful name, isn’t it honey?”

“Yeah, some Greek monster or something, right Ramshorn?”

“Well originally, she was a nymph. Until some jealous bitch turned her into a monster. Sound familiar?”

“Not that I can recall.” He smirked and then added, “Are you here with someone? You can’t tell me you’re attracted to everybody and still can’t find someone to put up with you.” He laughed he dig off, but she was seething.

Right as she went to bite back a hand landed on her lower back, and she almost tensed up until she recognised the familiar limb, “Hey babe, sorry I’m late. Traffic was worse than I thought.”

Raelle was here. Raelle was here in a suit looking unreasonably attractive, hand splayed over Scylla’s lower back, calling her babe and leaning in to kiss her cheek. She forced a smile to her face and felt the blonde whisper against her cheek, “Just go with it.”

“Hi, I’m Raelle.” Her free hand came out to shake Jake’s, the smile on her face delightfully charming, “What did I miss?”

“I was just asking if Ramshorn was here with someone. But I guess you just answered that question.”

Without dropping the saccharine smile, Raelle attacked, albeit politely, “Oh no, I heard the part where you were incredibly rude to my girlfriend. I meant before that.”

Scylla grinned at the blonde like she was the best thing she’d ever seen. She kind of was.

Jake’s face dropped, “Oh I uh, we were just catching up. She says things are good.”

“She’s always so modest like that.“ It was a lie, she loved showing off her stats, “Best detective on the squad. I swear everyone’s obsessed with her.” Scylla barely computed what Raelle had said, she was too busy staring at the woman. She looked so good, clearly bare under that blazer, her hair out of their braids, dazzling smile, that twinkle in her eyes. Scylla wanted to kiss her. More than she’d ever wanted to have sex with her or bicker with her or do anything, she wanted to kiss those lips.

The song changed and Scylla grabbed the opportunity to escape, looking up to meet Raelle’s eyes, “Want to dance? I’m bored of this conversation.”

“Always.” Raelle’s hand slid from the small of her back to grab her hand and pull her away from the other pair.

Scylla didn’t actually think they were going to dance, but you could add that to the list of things she’d been wrong about recently. Raelle moved the hand not in hers to Scylla’s waist and waited for Scylla to snap out of her shock and place her own hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

“Girlfriend, huh?” Shaking off the want she felt at the word, Scylla tried not to let the physical cloud her head too much lest she say something unbelievably embarrassing. 

“It wasn’t planned, I swear. But then I heard what he said. As if anyone wouldn’t be lucky to be here with you.” She felt the air against her ear as Raelle scoffed, “ Didn’t want him to think he’d won, so I sort of stepped in without thinking.”

Dancing was nice, it was more swaying than dancing, but the closeness was nice. Scylla could so easily say something now. Three words, it shouldn’t be this difficult.

“So, who was the asshole?”

Brought out of her daze, Scylla began, “He was Quarterback. Also, the person who started the Annie nickname.” She felt the woman in her arms tense and rushed to distract her, “His girlfriend had a crush on me and we both knew it. I maybe flirted with her a teeny tiny bit. And then my parents died and I forgot all about her. But when I came back after being off, he wasn’t over his jealousy, so he started calling me Annie.”

She smiled at the memory, “It back-fired on him though. She broke up with him over the nickname. If he’d never started it, she probably would’ve stayed with him all senior year, but he was so obsessed with whatever predatory tale he’d spun in his head that he couldn’t let it go. And then most people followed suit because well, high school.”

“Anything ever happen with the girlfriend?”

“No, which makes it all even funnier.” The two laughed, and then let silence take over as the song changed. They kept swaying, both content to feel the other so close, until Scylla spoke again, “Really though, thank you for coming. I didn’t think you would, after everything.”

“And leave you to the wolves? Never.” Scylla couldn’t see her face, but she knew if she could, Raelle would be wearing that beautiful grin again. She lifted her head back and was glad to see she was right, but when she met the blonde's eyes the grin dropped.

“I need to tell you something, and I wasn’t going to tell you now but if I don’t, I think I might lose my nerve.” Scylla tilted her head in lieu of a response, forehead slightly creased. She hated that her chest lifted with hope.

Raelle opened her mouth and closed it again, faltering in her resolve. Scylla was about to ask what it was when the worlds started tumbling out, “I’m in love with you. And I know that you probably don’t feel the same, and that this might make things really messy, but I-“

And then she wasn’t able to say anything else, because Scylla had stopped swaying to move the hand on her shoulder to cradle the blonde’s head and press their lips together. It was chaste. Far more chaste than any of the needy kisses they’d shared previously, but God it was so much better.

Withdrawing a minute later, Scylla rested her forehead against Raelle’s and released her grip on the other woman’s hand so she could interlace their fingers. “I love you too. I’m sorry I didn’t have the guts to tell you sooner." The words were whispered, like a secret only the two needed to know, " I’m bad with this stuff.” 

“I’m sorry I chickened out last time I tried to tell you.”

Scylla kissed her again, a little less chaste. She couldn’t really believe this was happening, and if she was about to wake up from this dream, she wasn’t going to waste time. Raelle wanted _her._ Her chest felt like it was going to burst open. She wanted to dance and shout and keep kissing this woman- who _loved_ her- until her lungs gave out.

Raelle broke the kiss but kept her face close, nuzzling their noses together, “Wanna get out of here?”

At the brunette’s raised eyebrow, Raelle giggled, “Not like that, to talk. Unless you’d prefer that. I am totally up for that.”

Scylla turned, searching for Byron, and found him on the other side of the room whipping his phone down from where he’d definitely had it pointed at them. When he waved at them, she rolled her eyes and gestured to the door, letting him know she was ditching.

“Let’s go.” Then she pulled Raelle out the door by their joined hands, giddy and warm and completely overwhelmed.

She stopped when she got outside, not knowing where the blonde had parked, and was wrapped up again, soft lips greedier than they had been inside. She melted at the touch and wasn’t even a little ashamed of the whimper that fell from her mouth when Raelle pulled away. It was a miracle she’d lasted so long without kissing her.

“Hey.”

She matched the dopey smile on the other woman’s face, “Hi.”

Raelle took her chin in hand and pecked her again before hovering close and whispering, “I can’t believe this. Feels a bit like a dream.”

A laugh and a dazzling smile met her words, “I know the feeling.”

When she kissed her again it was slow, but between that and giddiness, both ended up breathless. Scylla looked at her like she was everything, and Raelle didn’t know how she’d missed it before.

“Take me home?” With a whisper that went all the way through her, the blonde started to drag a giggling Scylla to the car.

* * *

Scylla had spent the entirety of the short journey home blatantly staring at her, and Raelle couldn’t get over how good it felt to feel her eyes on her. The brunette hadn’t stopped toying with Raelle’s free hand since they left the school, and the blonde was amazed she managed to not pull over and kiss the woman when perfect lips begin to press against her palm. She was so happy she thought she might actually be high.

It took them longer than it should have to climb the stairs of Scylla’s building, neither willing to separate for more than a few steps before getting drawn back to waiting lips. When they did stumble through the door, still giggling and hands gripped tight, Scylla pressed Raelle against the door with her body, hands either side of the blonde’s face, “I love you.” She tried to kiss her again, but she couldn’t stop smiling, “I can’t believe I get to say that now.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearin’ it. Say it again?”

The brunette moved her mouth to graze against Raelle’s cheek, across the length of her jaw and up to her ear, leaving delicate ‘I love you’s in between each kiss, until the blonde lost patience and brought her mouth back over her own. Hand in the small baby hairs at the nape of Scylla’s neck, Raelle mumbled her own, “I love you,” and whined when she pulled back.

Walking backwards towards her room, Scylla faked nonchalance and asked, “Help me get this off?”

Raelle stood dazed for a moment, resisting the urge to pinch herself, and then kicked off her shoes and strode after the smirking girl. By the time Raelle had come to and followed her into the room Scylla had also ditched her shoes haphazardly by the door. She looked beautiful in the dress, so beautiful that even just seeing her from the side earlier, Raelle had needed to stop and catch her breath before she approached. But Raelle knew how much better she would look out of it.

She caught Scylla by the waist and spun her around. Hands light on the zip, she brought it slowly down the brunette’s back, letting her hands skim over bare skin after it. When the dress fell to the floor, Raelle stayed there, hands delicate on Scylla’s waist, and let her mouth wander over her shoulders and the back of her neck. Sweeping Scylla’s hair behind her ear and out of the way, she raised her mouth to her ear and whispered, “I love you” again.

Scylla twisted in her arms, lips desperate for the blonde’s. This time, it was more like their usual hungry kisses, but also completely different. Physically it was the same, but knowing Scylla was hungry for _her_ and not just hungry for someone, made everything feel more intense. And knowing Scylla knew how she felt made her feel exposed in the best way, despite still being fully clothed.

Which it seemed Scylla was eager to change. She blindly pulled at the button on the blonde’s jacket, shoving it past her shoulders onto the floor. Her hands were all over the new expanse of skin, and her mouth soon followed with open mouthed kisses that shot straight to Raelle’s core. God, she’d missed this, but she couldn’t figure out if it was even better this time, or if Scylla’s touch had always felt this good and she’d forgotten.

Scylla took her time making her way back to Raelle’s lips, leaving a particularly dark mark right over her pulse point, and when she did Raelle felt her smirk against her as she tugged at the belt around her waist, “May I?”

Laughing at how different everything had been the first time Scylla had uttered those words to her, Raelle replied breathlessly, “Please.”

Nimble hands dealt with the belt quickly and pushed her trouser down, kneeling to pull them off fully, before the brunette unclipped her own bra and tossed it carelessly out of the way. Scylla went to reach for the blonde again, but instead Raelle grabbed her hands with a dopey smile and intertwined both sets of their fingers, “Hey, guess what?”

“You love me?”

“So much.”

Scylla tilted her head and hummed, “You know, you’ve said that quite a lot today. I think maybe you should show me.”

“Oh yeah?”

Scylla started walking backwards toward the bed, and felt herself holding back a giggle, “Mm hm.”

One final tug of their interlaced fingers pulled both of them onto the bed with gentle laughter.

Raelle rolled over to hover just above Scylla whose brown hair framed her head like a halo. It was a masterpiece. Scylla rosy cheeked, hair fanned out, naked chest and beautiful grin taking over her face. She couldn’t not say it, “You’re so beautiful.”

The blush spread lower, and Raelle was caught in a kiss. Scylla keened when a familiar hand cupped her breast, and Raelle felt fingers slot between hers where her forearm held her up. She drew back, nipping Scylla’s bottom lip as she went She released it just in time to open her eyes and meet ocean blue staring back at her. She pecked the lips below her once more before biting along the bare neck she hadn’t marked in a month.

Scylla’s slow grinding against the leg between her thighs was getting impatient, and Raelle relished at having caused the damp patch she could feel through Scylla’s underwear. She brought her mouth lower still, encircling one nipple while the hand not in Scylla’s thumbed the other. A playful tug with her teeth drew a beautiful whimper from the brunette and resulted in a tug at the blonde’s hair.

It was nice having her hair down. Usually only a small part of it was loose enough for Scylla to grip, but now the brunette had tangled her hand so deeply in her hair than Raelle could feel it all through her body.

Lavishing the other breast with the same attention her mouth had paid the first, Raelle dragged her hand slowly over Scylla’s stomach and thighs until it landed on the wet patch of her panties. Hips bucked underneath her when she put light pressure on the woman’s clit through her underwear, and Raelle couldn’t wait for the reaction when she touched her without them.

She continued slowly stroking her hand along the brunette over her underwear, delighting in the noises it pulled from Scylla’s throat, and left wet kisses along a winding path down to her hip. Scylla had a lot of freckles, everywhere, and Raelle was obsessed with them all, but there wasn’t a freckle that Raelle ever paid as much attention to as the one right on the bone edge at the top of her hip.

She pulled back from that freckle, nuzzling over it again briefly before shifting lower and dragging her tongue over the darkened section of the only material still covering Scylla’s body. Scylla had never been quiet in bed, but the high-pitched whine that escaped her then was potentially the most provocative thing Raelle had ever heard.

“Please, Raelle. I need, need them off.”

Unwilling to break the hold she had on Scylla’s hand, Raelle pulled the panties down with one hand, Scylla wriggling out of them as soon as they got past her knees. Running the hand back up Scylla’s leg, Raelle lifted her head from where it had been hovering close to where Scylla needed her and watched the brunette squirming, “Say it again.”

“Please Rae.” She was panting, and everything about it made Raelle want to devour her, “I need you to touch me.”

“Nice to hear, but not what I meant baby.” Another whimper graced the room, and It took more effort than she’d like to admit to keep her own moan from escaping.

“I love you. Please-“

Scylla trailed off into a gasp when Raelle licked slowly up her centre, and when she pushed two fingers in with ease the brunette groaned, “Fuck”, but the word was drowned out by the sounds of wet fingers sliding in and out. Everything around her was Scylla. The sounds, the taste, the thighs on either side of her head, she could disappear in the woman under her and never come back.

Scylla was ridiculously close and Raelle had barely even started, but she didn’t care. She’d gone nearly a month without being touched by her, and with everything that had happened in the last few hours, she was desperate.

Raelle set a perfect rhythm, hands expertly practised with what Scylla needed, each flick of her tongue guiding Scylla closer to that edge. Scylla dropped her eyes to find blue staring back at her, and then Raelle squeezed their joint hands at the same time as she sucked on Scylla’s clit and everything came undone.

Raelle lulled her through her high and when Scylla finally came down the blonde leaned her head against a thigh and smiled, “Hi.”

“Come here.” The words were slurred slightly, but Raelle was all too happy to oblige. The tiniest whimper echoed over the room as she withdrew her hand and climbed up Scylla’s body, throwing herself to the side of the brunette.

Scylla grabbed her hand and pulled it into her mouth, sucking the fingers clean before releasing them and whispering, “I might need a minute to recover.”

An adorable softness took over Raelle’s face, “What’s the verdict? Good enough to show you I love you?”

One corner of her lip pulled up, Scylla clearly wasn't so far gone that she'd lost her sass, “Mm, inconclusive. You might have to try again later.”

* * *

They were still lying in bed, Scylla on her front with a pint of ice cream in between them, when the brunette asked, “What did you mean when you said you chickened out trying to tell me before?”

Chuckling to herself, Raelle said, “I was gonna tell you that morning you ended things. And then I figured there was no point, so I just left instead. Feels pretty stupid now.”

Pulling the spoon from her mouth, Scylla frowned at the lost time, “I only did that because you went on a date.”

“I swear, do you and Byron have a hive mind? How fast did he squeal on me?”

Scylla giggled at the pout on her face, “He _ran_ over here.” The laughter disappeared and she fidgeted with the carton, “I do kind of want an explanation of that whole situation though. I mean I know I didn’t react the best, but it hurt.”

Raelle lifted the ice cream and sat it on the bedside table, pulling Scylla to rest on top of her, “I’m so sorry. About all of that. I never wanted to hurt you. I just,” The hand that had been playing with the edges of brown hair stopped, and came down to take Scylla’s hand, “I thought you still hated me a little, and I figured I had to get over you somehow. If it helps any, it was awful- all I thought about the whole time was how I wished it was you.”

She place a kiss on the crown of Scylla’s head and kept going, “And Libba knew I wasn’t there mentally and then I realised she was this girl that Bells hated at school and I thought it would be funny to see what would happen if they met again. But they ended up having sex and being all cute. Which sucked even more, by the way, ‘cause in my head they got exactly what I wanted, and I couldn’t have it.”

“What about game night? That was kind of brutal Raelle.”

“I know, but I swear that wasn’t me. They launched it on me and I was so caught up in you that I didn’t really think any of it through until you left.” She chuckled then, “Libba was so excited that you glared at her.”

Scylla burrowed further into Raelle, her breath tickling the blonde’s neck as she spoke, “I never really hated you. I think I just liked having your attention. At the time, teasing you and starting arguments was the easiest way to get it.”

Raelle tightened her grip on the brunette’s waist as lips pressed softly to her neck. After a minute, Scylla spoke again, “We should probably get better at communicating. I could’ve said something as well, it’s not just you who’s sorry.”

Raelle hummed her agreement, adding, “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“I really am sorry. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d showed up with someone all over you. Everything hurt enough as it was.”

“You didn’t know.” Scylla pressed another kiss, lower this time, “But I wouldn’t be opposed to you trying to make it up to me.”

The teasing lilt wasn’t something Raelle could ignore, “I mean, it only seems fair.” She moved to tickle Scylla’s sides until she was a squirming, giggling mess on her back. Raelle let the woman catch her breath, just watching, until Scylla dragged her back to her lips.

“Any suggestions on how to go about making things up to you?”

“Oh, I can think of a few.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession time- I've been incredibly busy today, which I was NOT expecting and not happy about, so I didn't get to write what I needed and the last chapter might be slightly delayed 😞 Sorry babes


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I ended up splitting the last chapter in two because it just kept growing and then I didn't like the way it read as one chapter. Anyway, cue montage

Finding a balance at work was strange. Raelle didn’t give a crap about being discrete, but Scylla didn’t want to be _that_ couple, so they did their best to avoid PDA. That however, did not stop them from going right back to their old habits of quick meetings in empty rooms, nor did it make them any less nauseating to the rest of the squad.

“Raelle I swear, if I see you grope your girlfriend again today, I am going to kill you.“ Okay so maybe they were _that_ couple, Scylla had given up trying to get Raelle to behave herself.

Anacostia had rolled her eyes and mumbled, “Finally” to herself the first morning they’d walked into the bullpen hand in hand, but had not given up trying to stop them from getting side-tracked. They kept their desks as far apart as possible on her orders, but now when Raelle went to the coffee machine it tended to take even longer than before.

The most bizarre part of their new relationship was the threatening phone call Raelle got from Byron. She’d picked up the phone two days after the reunion expecting him to tease the life out of her, and instead the first thing she heard was, “Don’t speak, just listen. This isn’t a friend call, it’s a ‘hurt my best friend a third time and they’ll never find your body' call. And that’s just what I’ll do, we both know Scylla is capable of doing much, much worse, so I swear to whatever’s out there that you better not step another fucking toe out of line Collar. Understood?”

Scylla, who heard the entire thing, thought it was hilarious. Raelle had been scared to spend time with the man for about a month afterwards. It was not the last time Byron called to berate her for something she’d done.

They discovered that game night was more fun when they made fun of everyone else instead of each other. It got even better when Raelle convinced Scylla to stop half-assing it and now they could give Abigail and Libba a run for their money. Having a smart girlfriend had lots of perks, but Raelle’s favourite was definitely seeing Abigail crack at coming in second.

The day they found out about the bet, Raelle was fuming, but not because Anacostia won, or because the bet existed.

“I can’t believe you threw a fit because I lied about sleeping with Scylla when you bet on me!”

“Everyone in here bet on you guys, don’t be a spoil sport.” Abigail really didn’t understand why she was being singled out.

“I don’t care about the betting; I care about your bet!”

“But it’s what happened! You can’t be angry that I thought exactly what happened would happen.”

“You bet on me falling embarrassingly in love with her Abigail. That was your whole bet! That’s barely a bet.”

“It was the most accurate, I should’ve won. You’re just angry I was right.”

”No, I’m pissed you didn’t tell me! We could’ve made a way more specific bet that was really far-fetched, for way more money. I could’ve made it happen and we’d have split the money!”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. Fuck.”

* * *

“Raelle, open the door!” Scylla really didn’t want to have this argument through the wall while Abigail sat five feet away on the couch, not even trying to pretend that she wasn’t watching.

“Leave me alone Scylla, I don’t want to talk right now. I’ll call later.” Scylla could hear her pacing on the other side of the door.

“I’m sorry I was late. I know it was important to you, and I’ve been doing way too much overtime and I’ve barely seen you in weeks but I’m sorry, okay? Please open the door.”

She heard ruffling through the door, and then the lock clicked, and it opened. Raelle didn’t say anything, just sat down on her bed. Scylla shut the door behind her and leaned against it.

The brunette spoke softly, trying to make things right, “I know I’ve been spending way too much time on everything else. I’ll try and be better at making time.”

“I just wanted one night where your head wasn’t somewhere else, Scyl. It’s been weeks, and I know you really want that promotion and I’m probably being selfish, but I needed tonight.” It had been weeks since they’d spent any real time together, Scylla was practically killing herself at work, and Raelle couldn’t even remember the last time they’d gone on a date. Tonight was supposed to be about them, and Raelle didn’t want to hold Scylla back, but she also didn’t want a ghost as a girlfriend.

“I know you did. I should’ve made time.” She crossed the room, folding her legs on the bed underneath her, “What if we take tomorrow off, get out of the city for the weekend? Just us.”

“Scyl, you can’t take a whole day off. The promotion is important.”

“It’ll be fine. I’ve been busting my ass for over a month, one day can’t hurt that much. And it’s not as important as you, Rae. You know that, right?”

Raelle breathed in and turned to look at Scylla, “Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I couldn’t go. Is that a yes?”

The blonde’s shoulders let go of most of the tension that had been there as she breathed out, “Yeah. A weekend out of the city sounds really good.”

Scylla’s lips curled up, “Great, now give me your laptop. Where do we want to go?”

Raelle looked the woman up and down and sighed, “Scyl, you’re exhausted. Get into something comfy and go to sleep, I’ll sort it.” The brunette looked like she was going to argue, so the blonde tagged on, “Please? For me.”

“But I-“

“Scylla.”

Accepting the gesture, Scylla started poking through the chest of drawers and pulled out one of her favourite shirts to steal, before climbing under the covers next to where Raelle sat. She didn’t leave any space, pressing herself right up against the Raelle’s side even as the blonde sat up with the laptop on her legs.

“I text Anacostia, we’re all good for tomorrow.”

“I’m really sorry about tonight.”

“It’s already forgotten. Unless something comes up this weekend, then I’ll kill you.”

Smirking even in her exhaustion, Scylla’s voice was playful when she spoke into Raelle’s hip, “Guess you’ll just have tie me up so you can keep me all to yourself.”

The blonde gulped, “We’re not gonna get anywhere if you keep saying things like that. We’ll just stay in this bed for three days.”

Smile gentle, Scylla mumbled so quietly Raelle nearly didn’t hear it, “I love you.”

“Love you too baby.”

* * *

Scylla woke to lips on her collarbone and a warm hand drawing patterns at her waist, which much to her delight was her normal these days.

Raelle’s eyes flickered up to hers at the hum that escaped her and grinned wide, “Happy Anniversary.”

Scylla was sleepy, but she was almost sure she hadn’t gotten that confused with the date, “It’s October. I could be very wrong, but I was pretty sure our anniversary is in January.”

“Our Anniversary Anniversary is in January. Our sex Anniversary is today.”

Smirking, Scylla decided to get the blonde back for the panic she’d felt at missing their anniversary, “Are we counting that one time you abandoned me as our sex Anniversary or when we properly started sleeping together?”

Pressing her lips against pale skin again, Raelle’s voice was a bit muffled, “I’m sorry I’m a dumbass. But I was in fact counting the night you propositioned me in your kitchen.”

“Probably for the best.”

Raelle glanced at the bedside clock and back to Scylla’s eyes, shifting her weight so she was directly over the woman, “We have forty-five minute before we have to get up for work…”

“I guess we better start celebrating then.”

* * *

Scylla always slept longer than her, so Raelle was used to lying awake in the dark cuddling into the girl for as long as it took her to wake – she’d learned how grumpy the brunette could get when she woke up alone after going to sleep wrapped in the blonde. Which meant she was surprised when she woke in her childhood room to delicate fingers playing with her hair and mesmerising eyes open on her.

“Why’re you up?”

Chest squeezing at the sleepy voice- she didn’t find it any less adorable than she had the first time she’d heard it- Scylla whispered, “I wanted to give you part of your present before we go downstairs. My body wouldn’t sleep past seven.”

Raelle quirked an eyebrow, ideas filling her head, “We have to be alone? I like the sound of this present.”

“I’m not spinning sex as part of your Christmas present Rae. And as much as your dad loves me, I don’t know that he won’t kick me out for defiling his daughter when he’s in the next room.” She pushed gently against the blonde’s shoulder, “Let me up for a second.”

Raelle rolled over with a grumble, angry to have to move and lose the warm body she rested on. The brunette poked through her bag for a minute before pulling out a small, wrapped box and scrambling back to sit under the covers. The December air was cold, even inside, and the borrowed flannel wasn’t doing much to keep it out.

Handing it to the blonde, she started speaking nervously, “I don’t know if present is the right word. It’s more of a request, I guess.”

Corners of her lips turned up, Raelle started pulling at the paper, “Scyl, calm down.” The woman rarely got nervous like this, and rambling was much more Raelle’s thing than Scylla’s, so she wasn’t sure what was stressing the other out so much.

When she opened the box though, she just got more confused, “Scyl, I already have a spare key to yours.”

“I know. But I was hoping that instead of you having the spare key to mine, it could just be your key to ours? I know you love living with Abigail, and for all I care you can keep paying rent there, but Rae you practically already live with me. Half your closet’s mixed into mine, you sleep there at least six nights a week. Usually seven. I’d really, really like if it you just moved in.”

Raelle pulled herself up from where she’d been lying to crawl into Scylla’s lap and kiss her deeply.

“Took you long enough. I thought I’d have to just sneak all my stuff in and then you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.”

The woman under her pecked her lips again, and then teased, “Why didn’t you just ask?”

Raelle gave her a deadpan look, “Scyl, not to be mean, but you can be kinda skittish sometimes.”

“What? No I’m not.”

“You freaked out when I asked if I could have a spare key. Byron literally called me to shout about how I startled you.”

“Doesn’t count, we’d barely started dating.”

Raelle was used to the brunette’s selective tentativeness, so she just softened at the ridiculousness, “Baby, it had been four months, and we’d been having sex for almost seven.”

“You are a pretty stereotypical lesbian; I should have seen it coming.”

“I could also bring up what happened when I told you my pops was gonna be in town and you flipped out about meeting him.”

“That wasn’t me being skittish, I’d never met anyone’s dad before! I thought I was going to fuck it up.” She’d been terrified, and nearly cancelled, and Raelle found her in the bathroom edging towards a panic attack. All her worry had been for nothing though, apparently Raelle had made her sound like a freaking delight and Edwin didn’t take more than ten minutes before acting like she was already family.

“As if you could. I think he likes you better than me now.”

“That’s only because I’m cooking Christmas dinner. Imagine, the vegan is the only one who can cook a turkey.” She’d been cooking Christmas dinner with Byron’s mom for years, she thought it was only logical she cook instead of having to get the neighbours involved, but Raelle had gotten far more excited than it warranted.

“Keep cooking dinner and I might have to marry you.”

The look of panic on the brunette’s face made Raelle laugh, “See- skittish.”

* * *

“Will you slow down please?” Scylla was pissed and marching her way home while Raelle struggled to catch up. Raelle was starting to regret convincing the woman to join her on her morning jogs.

“I don’t know, can you stop punching anyone who flirts with me?”

“When have I ever done that before? And some asshole grabbing your ass in a bar isn’t flirting, it’s assault.”

“You know what else is assault, Raelle? Punching people.”

“I don’t get what the problem is!”

Scylla stopped and spun around, voice loud enough that anyone who was interested could definitely overhear, “I could’ve handled it. Did it even cross your mind that _I_ might want to be the one to punch him?”

“So, to be clear, a minute ago you shouted at me for committing assault, and now you’re telling me you’re pissed that _you_ didn’t get to commit assault?”

“Maybe.”

“I mean we can go find him again if you want.”

She couldn’t stay mad seeing the blonde’s sincerity, “Let’s just go home.”

Taking Scylla’s hand and walking at a more reasonable pace, Raelle said, “I’m sorry I stole your thunder.”

“It’s fine. It was kind of hot.”

* * *

They’d been watching nature documentaries all evening, laid out together on the couch under three blankets to keep the warmth in. Raelle’s eyes were starting to flutter closed as Scylla’s gentle fingers finished twining the last of her hair into their usual braids, contentedness written all over her face. Her heart melted at the sight of the woman in her arms, so beautifully happy.

Sometimes even now she couldn’t believe Raelle wanted her, that she made her happy. It was still overwhelming every time the woman told her she loved her, every time she casually talked about their future. Scylla wanted it, so badly. She wanted decades of grumpy caffeine less Raelle, of blonde hair clogging the shower and cold feet on her legs stealing her heat. She wanted tiny feet running around waking them up at ungodly hours and she couldn’t wait to see Raelle teach little hands to fix all the things that go bump in their home. She wanted to see grey braids on her chest when she wakes up in fifty years.

“Rae,” The whisper was out of her mouth before she could stop it.

“Hmm?”

“Marry me.”

The eyes snapped open, and her surprise was written all over her face and her words, “What?”

“I know you always say I’m skittish, but I’m not anymore. I want this. I want forever. So, marry me.”

The blonde just stared at her, eyes still shocked and mouth floundering for words. Scylla hadn’t been nervous before she spoke, but now she was getting increasingly concerned that she should’ve held her tongue.

“Please?”

“I had a whole plan, Scyl. You have the worst timing ever.” Raelle was laughing manically, her previously droopy eyes now wide awake, “The one time I want you to be a little surprised, and you lose your skittishness and ask me first.”

Scylla playfully shoved at the still laughing woman before joining in, “You couldn’t have said that any sooner? I was terrified.”

“Wait a minute.” Raelle jumped up and jogged to their room, Scylla peaking over the back of the couch curiously. When she came back into the room, Raelle looked positively giddy with both arms behind her back and her steps bouncy.

“So it’s completely not what I had planned and I can’t remember any of the stuff I was gonna say and I’m pretty sure I know what your answer will be, but,” She finally reached the couch and instead of slotting back in beside Scylla, she dropped onto a knee. Scylla sat sup straighter and giggled at the woman in front of her.

“Scylla Ramshorn,” Another giggle, “Will you marry me?” her hands from behind her came up with an open ring box, and Scylla recognised the ring instantly- she’d seen enough photos of Raelle’s mother to know what her ring had looked like.

She leaned the short distance off the couch, still giggling, and pulled the blonde to her lips. She had to keep it short, Raelle still had a box in her hands after all, and asked, “How long have you had that?”

“Asked pops for it at Christmas.”

“So I asked you to move in and you literally got a ring the same day. Way to one up me.”

“I had the ring before you asked.”

Scylla just shook her head and went to kiss her again, but Raelle pulled back slightly, eyebrow quirked as she teased, “You still haven’t said yes.”

She pulled back, eyes flurrying, head nodding, and stuck her hand out, “Yes. Hurry up already.”

Raelle slid the ring onto her finger, already resized months ago, and tugged the brunette’s waist until she was close enough to kiss again, but Scylla spoke before she could, “Wait, if you had the ring for so long, why did you never propose?”

Raelle titled her head, knowing she was going to get an eye roll when she answered, “Skittish.”

“Rude. Want to have sex on the couch?”

“With my fiancée? Of course, I do.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! Hope you like it

Everyone offered to walk Scylla down the aisle, which was flattering, but in the end just constantly reminded her why they had to offer. It didn’t matter anyway; she’d always wanted to walk herself down the aisle. The whole point of being given away- ignoring the old, already very misogynistic meaning- was to say I trust you to look after this person and not screw them over. Scylla didn’t want someone else giving her to the blonde, she wanted to be the one to trust Raelle with herself. That didn’t stop everyone from triple checking it the week leading up to the wedding.

They’d asked Anacostia to officiate. Despite keeping them apart at work, she was always there for them, including acting like a counsellor when they argued and needed someone who wouldn’t favour either of them. She’d cried when they asked, and then adamantly denied her tears.

Byron had sulked when he wasn’t asked, until Scylla told him he couldn’t be her best man and officiate. Then he’d gone straight to planning mode, which Scylla hadn’t been ready for. When she proposed, she hadn’t quite thought about how much work it would take, and it was perhaps the first time she’d seen any benefits of having no extended family. Between both of them, the guest list ended up being less than fifty people long.

They didn’t actually get married for another year and a half after getting engaged, with planning and timing and working so much, they needed the time. The long engagement didn’t bother them much, but by the week leading up to the day neither of them had much patience left, and Raelle had suggested eloping several times. Scylla had reluctantly reminded her how pissed everyone – Byron- would be, and that if they could wait this long then they could wait the final few days. There was so much pouting that she nearly agreed on multiple occasions- she didn’t really care how they got married so much as she cared about it happening- but she knew Raelle wanted her dad there, knew she would regret skipping the day.

And then the day arrived.

The blonde paced the length of the room nervously in her tux, not nervous about the wedding, nervous about messing up. She didn’t want to ruin the day she’d waited so long for.

“Will you please stop that. I’ll drive the getaway car if you have cold feet, but I will definitely kill you if you don’t stop pacing. And I don’t feel like putting up with a vengeful Scylla.”

Raelle stopped abruptly to smile at Abigail’s words, “You’d be dead so fast. And it’s not cold feet. I’m just nervous.”

“Nervousness on your wedding day, what’s the other name for that? Oh yeah, cold feet.”

Tally crossed the room from where she’d been perched beside the Bellweather, “It’s okay if you do Rae. Most people get wedding jitters, but you and Scylla are like perfect together, so shake it off.”

“I’m not worried about marrying her, I’m worried I’m gonna mess today up somehow. I just, I want it to be perfect, and I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I could fuck it up. Like, what if I mess up my vows, or someone knocks the cake over, or I trip on the aisle?”

“Shitbird, don’t be dumb. Scylla doesn’t care about all this wedding crap, she’s only doing this for you. She would’ve been happy to head to city hall a year ago and call it a day. If you trip or the cake gets ruined or you stumble over a couple of words in your vows, she won’t care.”

The redhead beside her chimed in, “She’ll probably think it’s cute, she’s used to you being an idiot.”

Raelle’s face lit up as she spoke, “Yeah, it’d probably be her favourite bit of the day.” She hugged Tally before peaking again, “Will you go check on her. I know Byron and Porter are probably all over it, but I don’t want her to feel alone.”

“Of course. Are you done with your pacing, or am I going to have to tell her that Abigail murdered her fiancée before she could marry her?”

Rolling her eyes, she mumbled, “Ha ha, very funny. I’m good Tal, I promise.”

Tally reached the door just as a knock sounded against it. Pulling it open as little as she could to see who it was, she was surprised to be met by both Ed and Byron.

As she pulled the door open fully to let them in before leaving, she heard Byron speak to Raelle, “I’ve been sent to make sure you’re not going to jilt my best friend. Which I told her was ridiculous, but she wasn’t accepting that answer.”

“Is she okay? What idiot put that in her head? Should I go see her?”

The redhead just shook her head at the ridiculousness and closed the door behind her.

* * *

Scylla was staring in the mirror, not willing to look anything less than perfect today, when a fist hit against the door. Porter moved from her side to pull it ajar, and let the surprise come through in his voice when he said, “Tally?” Scylla’s head snapped towards the door.

“Hey, can I come in?” The only thing keeping Scylla from panicking was the upbeat tone the woman said the words with, not even Tally would be able to be so cheerful while telling someone bad news on their wedding day.

Porter looked to her at the question, so she strode to the door and pulled it open fully to let the woman in, a worried look on her face, “Shouldn’t you be with Rae? Is everything okay?”

“Oh everything’s great, just thought I’d come visit. How are you doing?”

Porter answered before she could, “She’s freaking out about her vows and paranoid that Rae’s going to change her mind.” Scylla sent him a glare, but he didn’t back down from her stare.

Face softening and hands fidgeting together, Scylla looked at Tally, “I’m not good with words, and Rae is really good at all this stuff. I know how important this is, I don’t want to disappoint her.”

“She’s just as worried about messing up, you’ve got nothing to be nervous about.” Giggling, Tally added, “Although, her fear of tripping might be warranted when she sees you in that dress. Seriously, you look like a freaking Goddess.”

The worry fell away as Scylla and Porter joined the giggling, “That was the goal. Figured that if I was going to do the wedding thing, I might as well have fun with it.”

“Well, you definitely succeeded.” Tally glanced at the time, “I better get back, not long left. You good?”

Scylla nodded, a smile on her face, “Yeah, I am. Send Byron back, will you? I don’t want to let him make me fashionable late.”

Reaching in to hug the short brunette, Tally’s cheerful tone was contagious, “No problem, although I think Abi would get a kick out of watching Rae squirm for a bit.”

* * *

Raelle barely heard her father’s words as she waited to start walking, too caught up in her own excitement, “You ready kid?”

She rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, trying to shake out some of the extra energy. Now that this was actually about to happen, she’d lost the nervousness. She couldn’t wait to be at the top of that aisle with Scylla, whether she messed up her vows or not, it would be fine. It was Scylla. There wasn’t anything that could go so disastrously wrong that the two wouldn’t be able to laugh it off.

She settled her body, and turned her head with a grin, “Yeah Pops.”

“You know how proud your mama would be? I know you’re upset she’s not here, but wherever she is, we both know she’s having a party for you.”

She squeezed his hand right as she heard their cue, “I know Pops.”

She didn’t trip. But now waiting at the top of the aisle, Abigail and Tally beside her, she couldn’t stop her fidgeting. She knew Scylla wasn’t ditching her, but she was impatient. They’d waited so long, and now every second that passed felt like an eternity.

Porter and Byron came in first, blocking her view of the only person she really cared about seeing. Scylla was calmer than she’d expected herself to be. She was safe, there was literally nothing that could ruin today at this stage, and even though the idea of talking about her feelings in front of all these people should’ve made her anxious, she couldn’t be. Everyone here already knew what a mess she was for the blonde, it wasn’t news to anyone. Plus, she could see Raelle now, and she looked so good that Scylla couldn’t focus on her nerves if she tried. The butterflies in her stomach were untameable, she could feel her heartbeat picking up. Somehow, despite all of the excitement and the happiness that overwhelmed her, everything seemed to slow down and sharpen.

Raelle wouldn’t usually have been able to stop herself from turning to elbow Abigail for the, “Told you she’d cry,” that the woman whispered to Tally, but she didn’t care. She could hardly breath at the sight in front of her, never mind gather herself enough to whack Abigail. Scylla looked ethereal, like some kind of angel gliding towards her, cheeks flushed, and eyes focused so intently on the blonde. She couldn’t even remember what she’d been worried about earlier, she was marrying Scylla. Nothing could ruin that. By the time the brunette reached her, Raelle was struggling to pull herself together, so entirely consumed by the woman in front of her. Scylla took her hand and squeezed it and suddenly she came back, returning the secret smile the other sent her way.

* * *

Scylla was starving. Who knew taking photographs took so damn long? If Byron didn’t start his speech soon, she was going to have to start searching for something to tide her over. Usually, she turned into a monster when she wasn’t fed for too long, but today it was just about bearable, which was entirely down to the fact that she’d been glued to her wife for the entire day. _Wife._ She giggled at the thought, and Raelle quirked an eyebrow from her seat next to her.

Scylla kissed her, so gentle it barely counted, and then without moving her face away whispered, “You’re my _wife_.”

Raelle brought their mouths back together, the hand that hadn’t been in Scylla’s all day caressing the woman’s chin as she let herself ignore everyone else. She felt Scylla’s tongue trace against her lips, but before she could deepen the kiss the brunette’s stomach grumbled. Laughing to herself, she pulled back and grabbed Tally’s bag from where it rested on the table beside her.

Scylla watched in confusion, until she saw the chocolate the blonde pulled out, “It’s not actual food, but I figured you’d need something.”

Pecking Raelle on the lips again, she reached for the chocolate and saw the blonde lean in front of her to shout to Byron, grin so wide it felt blinding to Scylla, “You’re gonna need to start talking soon, or she’s gonna kill you.”

He met Scylla’s eyes, and smiled knowingly, “I’m on it.” And he was. Less that five minutes later there was a mic in his hand and a mischievous smirk on his face.

“I’ve known Scylla for over fifteen years now, and take it from me, she is not an easy person to get close to. I’ve watched more people than I can count try, and they all failed.” Scylla was going to kill Byron, food or no food.

“Except this one. Scylla’s stubborn and standoffish and far too independent for her own good, but somehow Raelle Collar walked in with all her charm and forced her way in. The funny thing about Scylla is that try as she might to pretend otherwise, she has in fact always been weak for pretty girls who can push back just as hard as she does. And so, despite how long she spent forcing her apparent dislike for our favourite blonde, she’s been a lost cause since the start. I can still remember a doe-eyed Scylla waxing poetic about the cute girl with the southern drawl that she couldn’t keep her eyes off of. I remember the day she found out that the squad she’d transferred into was Raelle’s, and the look in her eyes that told me she knew she was fucked. Raelle is the only person I’ve ever met that doesn’t have to fight to get Scylla to talk, who can make her melt with a look and cheer her up with a stupid joke. I’ve watched the two of you look after each other for years now, and I don’t think I could ever trust anyone else to love Scylla better than Raelle has and does and will. I can’t wait to watch the two of you grow for the next fifty years. To Scylla a Raelle, who deserve all the happiness in the world, and have somehow found it.”

Okay, maybe she wouldn’t kill him. When Byron sat back down, she hugged him instead, and whispered in his ear, “I love you.” He kissed her head and joked, “Stop flirting with me Scyl, your wife might fight me and we both know I’d lose.”

Arms wrapped around her from behind her twisted from, “I would win. She’s mine. In a totally respectful, not possessive way.” Lips ghosted over the spot where her neck met her shoulder, “My wife.” The awed way the words came out sent a rush of blood to Scylla’s cheeks, and she was glad that Raelle’s dad started speaking before she could do something inappropriate in the middle of the speeches.

* * *

Hunger finally acquiesced, Scylla couldn’t remember ever feeling more content. She was tired, slightly tipsy, and her feet were killing her, but Raelle was there. And they were married, and she’d been giddy since she walked down that aisle. Small touches, quick kisses, whispered words, they far outweighed any tiredness.

When Raelle tugged her hand, she met her eyes, “You might wanna take those heels off. It’s dancing time.”

Laughing and doing exactly that, Scylla followed along behind her wife. Scylla hadn’t been bothered with most of the details of the wedding, she just wanted to be married, but the one thing she had been set on was the song for their first dance. Raelle laughed when she’d brought it up, completely unsurprised and on board with playing the song Scylla had jokingly sung along to on the radio one week after they’d gotten together. It was her favourite go to when she was feeling particularly needy or possessive, and Raelle didn’t know why she was so charmed by it.

‘Underneath Your Clothes’ started playing just as they reached the floor and Scylla wasted no time in pulling the blonde into her, mumbling along to the words as her hands wandered, potentially too daring for the occasion, but Raelle wasn’t going to complain. Normally she was the one trying to feel the brunette up in public, but apparently Scylla had decided today was a free pass.

Raelle couldn’t quite believe it had all happened. This was her life. Her whole body hummed, and she pulled the woman in her arms tighter into her, “I love you.”

Scylla’s breath was hot on her ear as she replied, and a chill ran through her body, “I love you too,” she nudged her head against the blonde’s before finishing with a delicate smile on her face and her hand on Raelle’s ass, “Mrs Ramshorn- Collar.”

“God I can’t wait to get rid of everybody.”

She laughed, enjoying the blonde’s whiny voice, “You’re the one who wanted this. If we’d gone with my plan, we could’ve been in bed hours ago.”

“We could ditch.” She said it teasingly, but Scylla knew that if she’d agreed the blonde would be out the door faster than she could say yes.

“You can wait another few hours Rae.”

“You say that, but have you seen yourself? I can’t believe I conned you into marrying me.”

“I asked you first. If anything, I fooled you.”

“Either way, no take backs. You’re stuck with me.”

“Okay, so now that I’m thinking about it, we could definitely sneak off for like twenty minutes without anyone noticing.”

The song was ending, “Meet you outside in 10?”

“Can you make it 5?”

Raelle smirked at her wife, “For my wife? Definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about this, but I can't tell if it's because I've been tweaking it for too long or because I'm in a mood or I'm just not happy with it, but hopefully you guys like it enough!

**Author's Note:**

> Given this is a detective AU, I should remind everyone that Black Lives Matter and ACAB.


End file.
